Guys I need kid of advice here.... and I'll try to make a long story short. We have been friend for 4 years and she has this relationship with her boyfriend lasting 6y. I came out to her 2y ago because I considered her one of my best friends. Few months ago she told me she thought to be confused...this confusion turns to be "i think i am bi..." I was able to tell, from things she was saying and how she was acting, that there was something more than "mmm i think because i notice girls..." so I asked her... She told me she likes me, and while half of her was hoping me feel the same the other half was hoping me not to be intrested so she can try to forget those feelings (if we can talk about feelings cuz i still cant understand). I tried to be a real friend...did not give her an answer and tried to focus on what really she was feeling ect....but the friendship was clearly changed. at least from my point of view cuz i liked her before we became friends. So I told her...now she knows and I knows but she doesnt make any decision. I am trying not to text her, call her...anything... but it's hard and I dont even know if I am doing the right thing. What do you think?
I think that she absolutely needs to tell her fiance now, before going through with the marriage. Life will get much harder for her if she goes through with the marriage keeping a secret. I won't go as far as saying that she shouldn't get married, but her fiance needs to know who he is marrying. And I think that if you want to contact her, then you should contact her. And if you are falling for her, you should just tell her. Wouldn't it be terrible for her to marry before the two of you just get honest with each other? You can only take care of your side of the street, and if you have feelings for her just take your chances and be honest with her. It is up to her to clean up her side of the street, which means telling her boyfriend. Good luck!
It's not really a matter of what you should do, it's about what she should do.. and that means talking to her fiance. Until she does that and works through her feelings and how it affects her relationship with him and/or you there is the potential for a very messy and hurtful situation that you would be wise to avoid.
Thank you for answering. She told her boyfriend that she has had some intresting for girls, generaly speaking without mentioning me. And yes, I told her how I feel...that I am thinking about it but I dont wanna get involved in a situation which is not clear and with a boyfriend in the middle. Actualy guys she blushed...she acted like she was very very glad about my intrest for her...but then she said something like..."Well, but I am Ok with him..." So I got more confused than before!...I have been honest and I think I "cleaned my side of the street" but still.... I am here and I really wanna hear from her, talk to her...but I feel like shit..like I could bother her (and I know I feel like this because the her boyfriend's presence). Probably I am afraid to seem like a stupid...who wanna make her feel something for me when it doesnt really exist because of him. You know what I mean?
Congratulations on having the courage to tell her the truth about how you feel. And you did it in the right way, telling her that she can't have it both ways. It's really up to her now. It sounds like she really does like you, and like she may not have the courage to follow her heart. I feel a bit sorry for him if he has to settle for her just being OK with him. But that's between the two of them. She may be missing out on the opportunity of her life, but it won't be because you didn't make things clear. At least you won't have to wonder all your life what could have been if you had just spoke up.
thnak you Wildside. Yes I am glad that I ve spoken to her....and I think it's up to her now. I think I won't try to speak with her anymore, it should be something coming from her. But I have like the feeling she won't do that....she will leave things exactly how they are. And I feel like I ve lost a friend.
sometimes a lost friend now is not forever. You will be surprised. Honesty is always the best policy.
