I can't do this anymore. I try. I keep trying I realy do, but this seems like the only option I have left. My fucking girlfriend says she wants to break up but she still wants to be together. All I seem to do is piss her off. I know she'd be happier if I just go.... I don't want to hurt her anymore. My family doesn't care about me and refuses to believe the fact that I am gay. They dont care. My friends just use me and make fun of me. I cant fucking do this anymore.
Maybe you can find some new friends? and definitely get out of home as much as you can. Is there an LGBT support group around you?
I'm not home, I'm staying with my cousin and my gf is over too.... Where I live we have nothing lgbtq+ places. I'm sitting alone crying my fucking eyes out because I don't know what do anymore
Hey you are not alone! There are times when you want to give up and that's ok but you cant let those feelings consume you. When you look for darkness all you will see is darkness but if you look for light you could always find it some how. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You live in America where you aren't persecuted or killed for your sexual orientation. I live in a country where it is illegal to be gay. You are still better off than many other people so keep pushing forward. I am still scared of my feelings and sexual orientation but with every question I ask and every forum or video I've watched they always "it gets better" and i believe it. Those words help me so many time when it becomes to much. Stay strong
We are here for you! Please don't let life's problems get you down. I know it feels like things aren't going your way right now, but you're 13! You have a life ahead of you. We've all felt the way you do, and I know it seems bad right now, but things will get better. I promise. If you ever want to talk, don't hesitate to send me a PM. I'm happy to listen to you. (*hug*)
I guess i should give you all an update... my auntie walked in on me crying and cutting so I've been staying with her. She forcing me to eat (eww) and to open up and talk about my feelings...
I am glad your aunt found you. I started cutting again recently, and every time I do it there is a little voice inside of me that is screaming for comfort. *hugs* You'll soon see that there is a light -- ditch the girlfriend ( I know, it is hard, but there is no reason to hold on to bad energy), give the parents time, and find a positive way to express yourself. When I was 13 I turned to writing, and just kind of never stopped.
Can you tell us a little more about what is happening? You mentioned you and your girlfriend broke up. What sorts of things have 'pissed her off?' in the past that ended your relationship. Why does your family not believe you are gay? What is happening with your friends?
My girlfriend and I haven't broken up. I know I am clingy person and whatever is in my head comes out my mouth. Those things piss her off and I'm working on it. She has a very volatile personality. My family doubts that I am gay because "i don't act like it" "i am too girly" and "i find some guys cute". I tried to explain I find girls sexual attractive and some men (only feminine men) attractive. My friends (except my girlfriend and one that currently moved) have teased me for being overweight, too smart, annoying, and gay....
wow only 13 life is still very young. Self inflicted harm doesn't take your pain away, except cause more pain to those who do love you. Sometime parent hasn't accepted your gender because you are young they not sure if you really know where you fit. Don't forget parents always love their children. What happens now feels painful, but 1 year down to road to past 5 years and so on you will see that what pain doesn't last forever.
Hey you are working on bettering yourself! Maybe you could talk to your school guidance counselor about this? Your family is in denial. Unfortunately people only recognize lesbians if they are butch with masculine qualities. You and I know that how girly a person acts or dresses is not a determinate of your sexual and romantic preference. Only you can say what your orientation is. You seem to be attracted to femininity. It is pointless to argue someone's orientation with them. As for your friends, get some new ones. If your friends are making fun of you they are toxic people. Try sitting next to someone else in class or join a club at school. I am not sure if there is an LGBT group at your school or even in your area. Expand your horizons and meet lots and lots of new people. You won't even have time for your old friends. Also how does one make fun of a person for being too smart? Being smart is an admirable quality to have in a friend.
Sadly, I don't trust my school counselor. She was one of the reasons why I was outed to my parents. I've been trying to explain to my parents that i am sexually attracted to girls and that if a feminine guy caught my attention I'd only date him. I found it pointless to explain bi-romantic homosexual to them... Not at my school, but at the high school there is GSA which I plan on joining. I have several friends who are the sweetest things ever to me but they are all between the ages of 17-20 (friends from band)
Wow that's not okay that you were outed by a school counselor. They are supposed to be people you can turn to and trust. I hope you have a good teacher to talk to. Trying to explain the complexity of identities to people is difficult. Just so you know, I understand what you mean. I am happy you have something to look forward to. GSAs are great for connecting with other people and gaining a sense of belongingness. Good friends will get you through! I think you have a lot going for you!
that's just messed up. I think that was an ethical violation on her part. But when I lived in Kentucky, just two years ago, it was the school counselors who were responsible for paddling kids, so I guess not everybody has the same attitude about what "counselling" is supposed to be about."
