Ok so I'm basically gonna have to tell my life story to explain this so bear with me. My life has been full of shit. When I was 8, my brother died..which is a long story by itself (message if you'd like to know). Last year I had a bad concussion (still feeling effects over a year later). This year, everything really went to shit. This was the year I learned that I was gay..obviously, but this is also the year I graduate from high school. Right now, my grades are dropping because I have absolutely no idea how to study, my dad yells at me for it, and I'm basically a walking heart attack. I took a stress test yesterday and got a concerning score. I can't deal with this. I don't know what to do. Anything will help :tears:
Well first of all I'm very sorry to head about your brother. Secondly schools a bitch! Third off have you accepted your gay?
You need to talk to your dad. He might be yelling because he thinks you're lazy rather than cracking under the pressure of it all. If it turns out you need help in school, he might quit being so accusatory. Don't let being lesbian worry you so much though. It's a big paradigm shift from assuming you're straight or anything else, but it's no reason to be ashamed or disappointed in yourself. Part of what it means is that you have a huge group of people immediately ready to listen and help you out on here. About the concussion and other stuff, well, life can be less than kind. I hope your coming years are better than the ones you remember. Even hard lives are worth living.
So sorry to hear about the problems you're currently facing! (*hug*) It does sound like you have so much to deal with! Just know that, all these problems you're facing and the stress and anxiety.. they're temporary. Eventually, with time and experience, I'm sure you'll have figured out being gay and what that means to you.. highschool will be in the past, and you'll likely be independent from your parents. Until all that happens, you should relax and breathe and try and have acceptance of the problems in your life, and find peace in your current situation, regardless of how trying it is. We all go through pain and suffering, and it's so hard, but, eventually it will subside and there'll be something better in its place.
I'm working on the whole acceptance thing currently, but I'm still not sure what I am. It's hard to accept it if I don't know haha. The guy I came out to told me that I'll know for sure by the end of my freshman year in college, which is not too far off. Right now, I've just been going to him for advice and support outside of EC but I don't see him outside of school. I'm screwed for weekends until graduation, then we can communicate more effectively (he's a teacher) so I have 4 months of crap left and then I'm home free..I hope.
Is there a counselor or psychologist in your school who may be able to help? I'm sure s/he has experience with studying problems, if not with questionable sexuality.
We have counselors but they're generally awkward people and it would just be an uncomfortable experience haha
you've been through a whole lot of bad stuff, and I am so sorry to hear about your brother. That concussion may have some lasting impact on your brain function and on your emotions. Be sure to discuss that with your doctor. I hope that better days are ahead, and soon.
don;t let the past the death of our brother cause you suffering now. He wouldn't have wanted you to continue to be affected by it. He would want to you find happiness. Your school and your sexual identity shouldn't affect one another. I understand its hard and frustrating but if all you think about is your sexual identity you are young it will take time to understand. School is important put your sexual question aside and just get good grades you can discover the answer in college.
Open up to people you trust, this forum is a good start Maybe start a journal and get some of your thoughts and ideas on to paper This can give some perspective and distance from the negatuve feelings
