It's only been in the last week that I started reaching out. I joined this LGBT guild with voice client in my game and I am so intimidated over this one guy on there. He's like the stereotypical captain gay guy and he started asking me what I liked, we go through music, books, television shows and by the end he tells me that I have straight tastes. I never thought about it before. I am not surrounded by LGBT literature. Well John Saul is my fav author and he is gay but he doesn't write for gay characters. I have never watched Glee cause it doesn't mix with my taste in music, I like Fried Green Tomatoes the movie and book, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I knew what it was about. I guess I have a male taste in movies, I am a sucker for a good 80s-90s action flick, but I have some girl movies, mostly anime, and action -- I had this section labeled bad ass chick movies. I dress neutrally, breaking out the makeup on special occasions. I don't want to change my tastes to prove my gayness.
I don't come across as gay either, you like what you like.. You don't have to change yourself to "Fit" the stereotype, its just a label. Theres plenty of people who doesn't fit the stereotype at all. Don't worry!
And you shouldn't change them! Honestly, my tastes have barely changed in the years since I've come out. Still like the same music, the same movies, the same books, the same videogames. And in many cases, they are rather more on the stereotypical straight side, yeah. I like to keep an open mind and foray into GLBT movies and books (I'm definitely always open for recommendations), but often they don't exactly "click" for me. Has it in any way helped or stopped me? Not at all! Yeah, I may sometimes be laughably behind on what's considered "new GLBT media". But in the end, what I've found is not WHAT you like, but how passionate you are about it. You may not like my music and I may not like yours, but we may still have a good time explaining what we each like about it. So: if this guy was just making a neutral observation, then he may be right, but there's nothing wrong with liking what you like. If he was suggesting you should change tastes, then you should just tell him that you don't have to prove or change anything to be gay.
I like girls and I am a HUGE One Direction fan. Doesn't make me like girls any less. I also really like Orange Is The New Black, which I've found a lot of lesbians enjoy as well, but you know what my mother and sister like it too and they're straight so... Just like what you like. Doesn't make you any less gay or any more straight.
What you like has no effect on who you like. <3 According to almost everyone I've met, I "act too straight", so they never expected me to be anything different. Yet for me, I'm way closer to being a lesbian than I am to being straight, since I do prefer females. My own girlfriend thought I was straight when she first met me, and I practically had to talk my friends into even believing that I wasn't straight. I realized quick, however, that there's nothing I ever have to prove to anyone, and same goes to you. You know who you are, and no one else can ever tell you otherwise~
Ohh pssh! This person keeps categorizing things as straight or gay. We know what being straight means and we know what being gay means. Sure there is a gay culture and a straight culture, but just because we are queer doesn't mean we cannot enjoy the ostensibly *straight* things in life. You do not have to change your tastes to prove anything. Unfortunately greater society only recognizes gay or straight based on outer appearances or the frivolous things. Just look around you in public next time and try to guess everyone's orientation. What you will find is you can guess all you want and you will never know the truth, only the individual can say who they are in regards to preferences. I have met your stereotypical flamboyant gay man who loves fashion. I have also met gay men who are terrible dressers and you would never have guessed they were gay by looking at them. It's great to expand our interests and explore a variety of books, music, and media! The great part is you never have to give up any previous interests in order to be gay. I wouldn't bother proving my gayness to anyone, it's too exhausting!
I can't believe how much more confident I am since I joined this. Change and I are like oil and water. I did change one thing though, I am no longer going to change the relationships in my stories to be what I feel would be more accepted. Open the gay bay doors, Hal.
As much as some straight people can love gay things, it's stupid to say that there are "gay tastes". It's like those people who have been critized and discriminated for their whole life because of color, or sexuality and they just become like white haters. I just don't get it.
Since when does your sexuality determine your tastes? I listen to metal and watch James Bond movies. It sounds like this guy is trying too hard instead of being himself. You should watch Queer as Folk because you like it & it resonates with you, not because you feel the need to meet certain expectations set arbitrarily by stereotypes.
You're right. Its people being insecure imo. They try extra hard to set themselves apart, instead of being themselves. It would do them good if they could relax a bit .
Be yourself! Being in the closet was all about being what other people thought we should be. Continuing to feel like we have to pretend to be someone we're not after we've come out would really be a travesty! Just be comfortable in your own skin, and celebrate who you really are! Congratulations on figuring this out!
So true. I often feel insecure about being stereotypically gay, but the whole idea of coming out is to come out as yourself, not another idea of someone else's of who you should be.
Yeah, I have major issues with choosing between myself and conformity. You can have all the self-esteem you want but you still won't fit in. I gotta admit, it must feel really good to fit in for who you are, I'm jealous of those people.
why do you have to care what he thinks? Just be yourself. Being gay doesn't have certain characteristics.
Just like what you like. Your orientation does not and should not determine your tastes, YOU determine your taste. Also, being a contradiction to a stereotype can be a good thing. When people say something like: "ALL gays like/don't like ____" you can be the proof that contradicts that assumption, and shows that actually we are all just individuals same as straight people.
