It isn't too extreme, but I feel kind of unstable right now and I feel like I could do something bad to myself. Before a few weeks ago when I started to really go through a hard time, all i did was pinch myself with scissors blades hard enough to make small indents so not that bad really. But recently I've basically started to do this thing where using matches I burn and brand patterns into my arms, normally geometric stuff, and the heat carves out furrows in my flesh. It's starting to hurt really badly though and i'm worried it's becoming infected. What should i do? There's not too many injuries, just enough to fit under two palm sized plasters/band aids. Is it enough to see a doctor?
Well, first you should really stop hurting yourself. It isn't the best idea... and near the worst, and you probably should see a doctor.
You definitely need to seek help. Hurting yourself is never a good thing to do. You need to consider why you feel the need to do it and it isn't just the injuries that should have you seeking help from your doctor. Something is obviously triggering you, and brains are fickle things to understand. They might be able to help you manage whatever stress you are feeling and to get you to a place where you don't feel that you need to do this any more. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with it. I know that it can get out of control really fast. I hope that you can get some help and that it helps you figure out how to cope without hurting yourself.
Have a look at this information sheet from the UK National Self Harm Network: http://nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf Try to work on some of the alternative strategies outlined in the information sheet and maybe take a closer look at their website for extra information and sources of help and support. It's better to do this now before a regular pattern develops, and please take care of any injuries or wounds. It's definitely not too early to visit your doctor.
Thanks for your answers. I know whats triggering it sort of, and i'm ok with it being the trigger if that makes sense. I can't talk to my friends about it, because there is a lot of stigma towards self harming because a girl at my school used it to attention seek, and plus everyone thinks i'm really happy all the time. I'm going on a family holiday in a week (a place which is hot i.e swimsuit weather) and i'm worried that my plasters/band aids will come off in the water. I'm getting bad anxiety about it (another thing people don't know about) and sometimes it gets difficult to breathe. I really don't want my parents to know, because then they'll find out about the whole gay thing probably and i don't want them to know about that.
Another website that might be worth checking out: LifeSIGNS :: Self Injury Guidance & Network Support Non-judgemental help is available to you, so don't suffer in silence. Remaining silent will only worsen the situation. If you need to discuss what's triggering it, please do so. Talking is an important part of coping.
it's an addictive behaviour, and it tends to escalate. do get help now so that you can learn healthy ways to deal with what you're feeling. you've taken the first step by telling us. now take the next step!
why is that when we are in pain, we end up causing even more pain on top of that??? Self inflicted harm to self doesn't take your problems away. You have you love yourself. When you hurt yourself you are also hurting those who love you, since they don;t want to see you suffer. Everyone have issues- in time it passes. You should read a book, Brain Weiss, "through time into healing", it might help. Always remember we are not alone and we are always being loved.