Not sure why I'm posting this, looks like a lot of people have gotten good advice and help in here so I decided to give it a shot. First off, I'm 24 Years old, bisexual, but not out to my family or friends. After reading this I may look like a bad person but I'm not. At least I don't think I am. Ok let's start. I have a cousin. Recently she has started dating this guy. When we met we hit it off really well, met him about 2 months ago and could say he became my best friend. I didn't see him in any other way than a friend, but recently he has started to grow on me and I did develop a crush. He always wanted to hang with me, and when my cousin was at work, he was always with me. Knowing first off that this was my family members man, I did not want to start anything because I knew for a fact it would end very badly and I would lose my cousin. This crush has been tearing me down though. I've been trying my best to move on, get over it, and let everything fall back to normal. But it has gotten a lot harder. recently they broke up, and he had no place to go so he stayed at my house for a week or so, bad idea. we did sleep in the same bed, and although nothing happened, he did make comments and do things that made me question if he's bi or not. now anyone who knows me, knows I'm a sucker for love. When I fall, I fall HARD. I get blinded and do anything I can to make the person I have feelings for feel good. And I've been doing that with him. I've helped him money wise, favors, and just being there for him. So when this happened that night, just as I thought it was getting better, my feelings rushed back. Fast forward to 2 days later, and they are back together now. Which I'm not upset about, what I'm upset about now is that he is acting very different, sort of stand off-ish. Rude, short responses to me when my cousin is around. this is where I'm looking for advice... I NEED to get over this person. I feel and know that this will go no where and even if anything was there between us, I cannot let it happen. How do I get over this person, I get anxious just thinking about it, it sort of feels like a heart break. And like many others, I don't take these to well. I suffer from panic attacks so they have spiked up dramatically. I can't be in my room or home alone, I always have to be out and about and around people. When will this get better
We sound a lot a like. I wish I had some advice but I'm at a point where I'm still hung up on someone from almost two years ago. I've tried dating other people. Didn't work. What's even worse is that there is someone in my life who I love just as much but I still can't let go of the other person. Just know you're not alone. (*hug*)
Family's ex partners are off-limits, I am glad you realized that. It is understandable he is acting a bit standoffish since the two of you had slept in the same bed despite not having sexual encounters. It can make a person feel awkward and do things to distance themselves from you. His response is not your fault, it sounds like you know this. I would feel upset too if I went and did something nice for someone only to have them push me away! I hope this person at least thanked you for all the trouble you went through to help him when he had nowhere to go. It's a total slap in the face. I think if you are going to get over a person the best thing to do is to create some distance between the two of you. Go out and meet people and just be busy. Getting over a person does not happen over night. Being around people is a good thing, they can be a listening ear, or a distraction from all the brooding we do. Feelings will naturally fade, nothing happens over night.
well, if they're back together now, he is definitely off limits. you only get so many cousins, and that's it for life. there will always be other guys. so you are so right to now want to do anything that would put your relationship with your cousin in jeopardy. there is nothing that will immediately make the pain that your are feeling go away immediately. but it will diminish, and will eventually get down to the point that you don't usually think about him. in the meantime, try to get out and be with people, and maybe even make some new friends. you want want to do something you've never done before, even if it were something really silly, like bowling. that will get other parts of your brain firing, and that can be a good thing. Time takes time. you'll get there. :icon_redf
Thank you everyone for your inputs and advice! It's still hard to get my mind off of it but I'm trying! Taking it one day at a time
