My girlfriends parents are homophobic and ever since they found out she likes girls and that we are dating, they have taken her life away. Her family puts her down and it's to the point where she's falling back into an eating disorder and has started to cut. She's 18 but the reason she hasn't left her parents house yet is because they are paying for her college. She wants to leave but is afraid of not being able to pay for her own tuition. I'm so scared because I can see things are only getting worse, and I'm scared because she says the only time she is okay is when she's with me, but her parents don't let us see or talk to each other and she's under watch 24/7. The only solution I can think of is her leaving. But that's not a decision I can make. I can't stand seeing my girl like this, I don't know what she should do, I'm running out of things to tell her. I've talked to school counselors, deans, and resource officers, they all say the best thing would be for her to get out her house for at least a few days. She's scared. I'm scared. I don't know what to do.
She could go to relatives who are accepting immediately. She could spend a few days there. You could have a look here: Being gay is not a choice, so its neither their parents upbringing nor her fault.. Empty Closets - For Parents ->The credible scientific literature ... She might say that her orientation is only a part of her... she will be still the same... You might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/167549-i-came-out-my-mom.html#3 And being honest, would they really cut her tuition ? Its their child, they should support her...
She doesn't have family that lives in state, but does have very close family friends who support her and disagree with the way her parents have been treating her. They have said she could stay there as long as she needs. As far as tuition, they have been threatening to take it away for months and she truly believes that if she leaves, even for just a few days, they will take it away. I just don't know whether to push her to leave, or tell her to power through it. I hate seeing her suffer and I can't just sit back and watch, but I don't want to pressure her.
Well the idea of residing with the family friends is to have some kind of middle ground. She is not moving in with you straigt away, and the family friends might still have an influence on her parents. And they could support her. Well if she feels she can power through it... she might try to state her legitimate needs, and emotions... without getting into heated arguments... and after all shes their daughter.... and should concentrate on studying, not being bothered by parents...
When you can see her, just be with her. Don't bring up the bad stuff unless she wants to discuss it. As someone who is literally .2% away from being in the EXACT SAME SITUATION, just take it one day at a time.
you can let her know that you will support her in any way you can, and that you will always support her emotionally. but the ball is in her court. she has some decisions to make.
