Well a year ago I got out of a bad relationship . Which I was forced in to because he threatened. To out me to everyone if didn't. Which it did happen when I couldn't take the abuse from him and left him.I come from very homophobic family. However my parents refused to believe it and are In denial. However not allowed to live with them. I am forced to live grandparents. Who are extremely homophobic and can't move off or go to 4 yr school because don't have money or support.And after that relationship it honestly pushed me in closet more.except for a very few special friends. And honestly I'm terrified of coming out now even though. I use to be more open about it.I feel turned down and trapped still and terrified to be around people incase they figure out my sexuality. Because terrified going to happen again. I feel so down on my self and not sure what do. I sometimes don't even know what yo do with myself.how can I get back to my old self use to be so confident now honestly feel no hope
Congratulations on getting out of that abusive relationship. That can be hard to do, but you did it! Can you get a job of some sort so that you can get out from under your grandparents' roof and live life on your own terms?
I am in a very similar situation I came out about 14-15 years ago and was in along term relationship with a woman my family is very religious ( JW ) I lost everything and everyone ! I got in a bad situation and had to move back to my fathers house. And basically it is don't ask don't tell ! All of my friends know I am a lesbain and I don't hide it from anyone but my family ! So I have stepped back from the lgbt community ( more than 1 reason ) I am starting to reach out to the lgbt community after 5 years and honestly I don't know anything about it anymore ! I know it sucks to have to hide who we are from family. And I know what it is like to have homophobic family members and lets just say I come from a large family out of 6 siblings I only have 1 brother who I can talk to openly about it ! It kills me inside and I am sorry you are going thru this too !
Thanks for the support. And I'm trying to find a better job just hard to find since I moved and live in such a small community where people seem to hire only family.
You could have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/168192-thinking-out-loud.html#2 hugs