So I booked a counseling session with hopes to chat with someone about some issues I've been having like with social anxiety, general anxiety, and my parent's divorce. I told her all about my horrible relationship with my father. Later when I was talking more about the social anxiety issues, I was saying how I meet people off of iPhone apps and I was seeing this one guy but I wasn't really interested in him but more that I thought that since I was 20 that I should be dating so I pushed myself into going out with him. I told her that men make uncomfortable and that I'd rather talk to women because I just feel I can relate to them more and they feel way more comfortable to me and I'm not sure of my sexuality. She thinks that I might just have mistrust in men because of my horrible relationship with my father and I should figure out who I'm truly comfortable with in a social situation before I even worry about my sexuality. Anyway, I booked the counseling session to vent about things that I have no one else to talk to about, and I didn't really come out of the session feeling any better than before. I'm not sure if I want to go back. It just doesn't seem like she's going to be able to help me with any of my issues.
You might not have therapist-client compatibility. I have had that before and it really sucks to continue seeing a therapist who is not the right match. It's hard to say if your discomfort with men correlates with the poor relationship with your father. I mean, we could take a straight guy and send him out on dates with men and women, if he comes back saying he likes women then the therapist is unlikely to correlate that with the poor relationship with his father making him not trust or want to be with men. I agree you should figure out who you are comfortable with before figuring out your sexuality. I think it's important to be around people you trust for your own welfare. The answers will come with time when you develop those preferences (i.e. gender) regarding the people you trust. Also meeting people off the internet can be nerve-wracking as well, I wouldn't trust everyone who makes a profile on a dating app!
I know it's intimidating and extremely hard to commit to, but in the long run, if you're having issues in your life and need to vent, counseling is a good way to alleviate that stress. You can expect your deep feelings and issues to be thrown out the window in one session. Or even 50. Recovering is a long process and only you can decide when you feel better about something or not. In a sense, as the saying goes, you can't expect things to change overnight. It may not seem any help at the moment, but there are things that can be worked out between you and the therapist that suits you better. Getting to know your councilor is crucial as well; and in one session, you can't do that. I'd say to give it another chance. I've been through the same sort of thing and I didn't think that it would help me either at the time. I went for a few months and stopped. Help is help, and if you feel you need it, you should take it. And if you don't like who you're seeing, find someone else who you are more comfortable with and will feel like they will help you in the way that you need. Sorry you are going through so much anxiety and such, though. Having that stress on your shoulders is never a good thing. I hope that you can work it out, and I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do in the matter. I hope that you give it more of a chance, however, as you might find it very helpful down the road like I did.
you will want to get to the underlying causes and issues that connect the dots of all the stuff that you are venting about. Having the opportunity to vent, you may start connecting the dots on your own. or a good therapist may walk you along a bit. but the therapist usually can't find the answer for you. give it some time, and if you're just not clicking then it might be necessary to find another therapist. but if the isn''t flat out a problem, I suggest you not be too hasty in writing her off.
You guys are right. I'm gonna give it another chance. I think my social anxiety just kinda took over afterwards. I kept thinking that I had said too much and that she was judging me. It was probably all in my head though and it wasn't as bad as I think it was.
