What's it really like to be gay and in the military

From what I understand, the military has never been tolerant of gay men.

 

While I've never been in the military, I live in an area with a huge military population and have seen quite a few news stories about LGBT in the military and talked to a fair number of LGBT folks, both active and former. Based on what I've seen, my thoughts on this break down as follows:

Navy: even under DADT, lots of people in the Navy, especially the Medical side of this, to the point where it seemed to be something of an open secret/conventional wisdom that a lot of Corpsman (medical staff) were gay. Since end of DADT, people seem very open (volunteering at the local LGBT center, marrying their same sex spouse, etc.) and no one seems to care.

Marines: Conventional wisdom is that if you give a Marine a clear objective, they will make it happen, end of story. The Marines seem to have followed this approach in the run up to repeal of DADT and afterward, with lots of training, changing process and procedure to accommodate same sex spouses, and making it clear that associated civilian groups (spouse support organizations, etc.) are expected to do the same. There have been a lot of news stories about gay Marines proposing and getting married, bringing same sex dates to official functions, etc. Which may say something about the Marines, or about the news media paying more attention to them, because they are the Marines.

Army: based on news stories I've seen, plus some comments from members here, my sense is that the Army has been slower to change and is more conservative in its attitudes, especially in areas like the infantry. This is not to say they don't follow the same rules, but that attitudes may be less accepting there. It may also mean that the Army just isn't getting the same press. All of these organizations are huge and people are different everywhere.

Air Force: I don't recall seeing specific news stories about LGBT and the AF, but have seen some about a large conservative religious element appearing at the Academy, to the point where there has been concern expressed about separation of church and state and such. This was a bit ago and steps may have been taken to address the issue. Also the Academy isn't the whole AF, and the rules are on your side. More research is probably in order.

Coast Guard: haven't read or heard anything relating to them one way or the other.

Of course, all of this is just anecdotal, and hopefully others with more direct info will weigh in. And do your research online and maybe reach out to the HRC and other LGBT organizations, especially any that are focused on service members and/or local to major concentrations of the military, particularly the branch you are interested in.

Hope this helps,

Todd