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Mum And Her Emotional Rollercoaster

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ZenMusic, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. ZenMusic

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    Recently, my Mum has been very nice to me, but I still argue with her. When I have these arguments, she's extremely catty, obnoxious and confrontational, and then when I'm still angry at her for being vindictive, she starts being nice and acts as if nothing happens. It's very frustrating when she constantly has these wanton arguments and then decides to be civil when the other person is still angry at her. How can I deal with this?
     
  2. Aro

    Aro
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    Does she have any mental issues at all? Has she been checked? It is a very common symptom of having a chemical imbalance or a mental illness. I've known several parental figures of my friends go through this and it is always something like bipolar or related issues. Either that, or she is going through hormonal changes and can get agitated and cycle through with guilt to start being nice again. This happened to me when my mother went through menopause, actually.

    Asking, however, is a very delicate issue. If it hasn't been diagnosed, already. But I think it is definitely something to keep in mind. Understanding is half the battle in weeding out frustrations sometimes. If you want to talk to her without bringing anything like that up, pick a good day when both of you are calm and sit down to talk with her.

    Express what you just said on here and be honest. She is your mom and she loves you. While it may be hard for her to hear, just let her know that you care and that it makes you angry when one moment she can be firing off on you and the next she is civil and you haven't recovered. Just be honest in that it is damaging your relationship and there needs to be a system. Perhaps you can suggest a password for when this happens? We did that around here for a different issue. Something harmless to point out when it is happening so that she maybe can take a step back and give you some space.

    Hopefully that helps and that you can work out something with her! She probably doesn't mean it, you know? Just talk with her and see where it leads. c: Good luck!
     
  3. ZenMusic

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    I think she said she was diagnosed with it a few years ago.
     
  4. Aro

    Aro
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    Ah, I see. While I know that it doesn't excuse all of her actions or words, and it doesn't make them hurt any less, I hope that you can find some understanding in that sometimes she can't help it. My advice still stands in that you should sit down and have an honest conversation. And if it is bad, perhaps she will agree to seek further help in dealing with those outbursts. I'm very sorry you're going through this sort of thing. I'm currently dealing with something similar, so I definitely know how it feels.