I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and things have not been good. Her parents found out and are very homophobic, my girlfriend is 18 and going to college in the fall so they control her future and have threatened to take away her tuition because of us. She even broke up with me about a month ago because she wanted to please them but realized she had to take a stand for herself so we got back together. We can't ever talk or hang out outside of school which sucks. She claims things will get better when she goes to college because we'll be able to talk more but she's going out of state and I have another year of high school and plan on going to college in state. I love this girl and we're literally going through hell right now with our situation. I just don't see how we can end up being together. I know we're young and many say college changes people and long distance is hard but I can't imagine being with anyone else, I truly to believe this is my soulmate, but this is so hard. I don't know how much more I can take, I don't know if all of this stress is worth it, I don't know if we can last and that scares me. Is it time to just face reality and accept the fact that this relationship probably won't last, or do I keep fighting hoping something changes? I'm so lost...
aww i feel for you i really do..i wish i had sum good advice for u but ive never been in that situation before and dont wanna give u shitty advice..but i will give u a **hug** i hope things work out for u
Is there any way you could get some outside help to change this ? Like relatives of her family supporting you... a member of their church/community supporting you... or a counselor helping you through this... is she an only child or are there other children ? Would it be a possibility she gets a counselors help for her eating disorder, and the counselor also helps her, and maybe educate the family ? (*hug*)
Her family doesn't want to seek guidance. They just want to isolate her and it's really starting to affect our relationship.
Yes. In the post above there are ways mentioned to get people to talk to her parents... relatives, members of her church or community, or a counselor... so they could see its wrong to isolate her... there might be people in her family or surrounding definetly not approving of this kind of behaviour, and thus want to help. You mentioned the house of a friend where she might stay. The parents might not want word to get out because they themselves might know its not ok. Its like breaking the silence. I cannot tell how the parents might react... its up to her... And if she has an eating disorder it might be completely understandable if she looks for counseling.
I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. But I'm so stressed about how we're gonna make this work. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone else. I dream about her every night. I wake up excited to see her face but feel so hurt every time we have to say goodbye. I want her to leave her house but I don't want her to go so far away for such a long time. I'm trying not to hold her back and she's trying not to hold me back but if we love each other, and if we both want to be together, don't we have to some what hold each other back? Does that make sense?
Well, it does... a compromise... but sometimes its a dream for someone, they have had for a long time... and you are under pressure right now, its more difficult to think clearly... I'd say talk it out, talk about it... you can state your wishes and needs, and so can she... but don't pick on each other, and its still quite some time till then... for now you are in school together... (*hug*)
I'm sorry you're going through such a painful experience. One thing to keep in mind, when people go to college, they meet lots of new people, and they sometimes forget about old relationships. this will happen when you go to college in another year, and it will happen to her much sooner. lots of romances break up when one or both go to college. I'm not saying that this will happen in your case, but it does happen a lot. it sounds like you have already figured this out. and so I guess you're asking yourself, as your thread title even states, if it's time to walk away. she is in a tough position. she can't afford to go to college if her parents withdraw their financial support. this is a decision that only you can make, but if I were in your situation I think I would call it quits. and then I would cry a lot, I mean a whole lot. I hope that there are people you can turn to for support. this is such a difficult, painful situation to be in. I'm so sorry. (&&&)
You two can still evolve together, if you want to... its up to the two of you. And she can apply for scholarship or any kind of financing...
