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I feel lost & clueless about treatment of my brain

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by vicky90, Feb 19, 2015.

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  1. vicky90

    vicky90
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    I am feeling clueless about ways to solve some problems I am facing.

    I hope this is a right section.

    Broadly I can describe my brain problems as below:
    1. Short term time management (long term is obviously worse)
    2. Lack of attention. Consistent distraction.
    3. Laziness. Procrastination. Motivation
    4. Mild anxiety about coming out - Not stressed.

    I have been visiting counselor and psychiatrists since 4 months mostly for above problems + greater depression. I was very depressed & anxious about my sexuality & unable to focus on interviews for my jobs which further added to to the pain.

    Overtime, with treatment and with the way life has progressed - I am sorted out with my sexuality. For now - I am least stressed based on my sexuality, I am longer depressed because of doubts, denial etc related to it. I am now comfortable with my sexual identity and it has resulted in some improvement in mental health.

    BUT - still I can see my life is still not functioning properly because of above mentioned four specific points. I am not able to implement on my plans, not able to complete simple tasks/goals on time and being late is really causing a big trouble in almost everything in day to day life - starting from bath, cleaning room, study, laundry, and all such small/big daily routine stuffs - along with nowhere closer to working on long term goals. I am stressed about it.thinking about coming out to a friend here in college , but that is not so much of priority - it will anyhow happen sooner r later . I am not feeling stressed about coming out to this friend.

    With regard to this - there is sense of conflict between my counselor and psychiatrist.

    As per Psychiatrist - so far my treatment in Therapy in counseling had given enough attention to sexuality (questioning etc) . Now that I am fine and less stressed about it - my treatment should be focused on resolving these problems individually w/o considering sexuality. He also asked me to drive the conversation with Counselor in that direction - away from sexuality.

    As per Counselor - she is of the view that although I am comfortable with my sexuality, I still need to learn a lot about how to cope up with others about it. It still needs attention in therapy as it is important to day to day life. She is recommending me that treatment should be on tactics about getting along with others, coming out etc. In her view, this will ultimately solve above four points. I am not able to understand how those are releated with sexuality. I feel those should be treated independently.

    So I am clueless what should be the focus of my treatment & what should be the ways of treatment. Please advice.:help:

    I would really like to hear from someone who has seen life at large, who has gone through some or other of these problems, who has some experience with medical treatment, etc.

    Thanks in advance.
     
    #1 vicky90, Feb 19, 2015
  2. jay777

    jay777
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    Ok now... it should be behavioural treatment etc. imo, not treatment of the brain...

    imo they are both right, from a certain point of view.

    It seems like you are kind of conflicted, and being more you could help solve some of those conflicts.

    So that you like more to be with people... learn a bit to deal with people... and have more motivation to do things.

    You could talk that through with your counselor.
     
    #2 jay777, Feb 19, 2015
  3. Sam I Am

    Sam I Am
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    The first three things could potentially be caused by depression related to your sexuality. However, you should have seen them reduce in intensity as you got more comfortable with your orientation. If this didn't happen, then there's a good chance that there's something more going on that might benefit from behavioral therapy or medication. I am tempted to side with your psychiatrist in this regard.
     
    #3 Sam I Am, Feb 19, 2015
  4. monome

    monome
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    For point one. Have you tried some time/task management methods? Sometimes it is really hard for me to plan long term or big projects. Also juggling to many "to do's" in your brain will lead to (or increase) the feeling of fatigue, lack of motivation and it will surely leed to procrastination. But what works for that problem is to use some methods of task management. Try to google for following things that might help you greatly:

    1. Eisenhower matrix (or Eisenhower box)
    2. Personal KanBan
    3. GTD aka Getting Things Done (when you have to balance a lot of tasks)

    All three methods will help you:

    1. Dump things to do from your head to external data (it helps a lot)
    2. Prioritize and minimise things coming at you that are just distractons
    3. Break bigger and complicate projects to smaller tasks

    Good luck!
     
    #4 monome, Feb 20, 2015
  5. bingostring

    bingostring
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    some really good advice above I will not repeat
    anxiety and depression can affect decision making and mental functioning
    so hopefully as you get more confident in yourself and your identity you will see improvements
    also, getting good sleep is very important for your brain to be efficient in the day
     
    #5 bingostring, Feb 20, 2015
  6. vicky90

    vicky90
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    Thank you all for sharing your views ..

    jay777 - "Being yourself" - is definitely something I am working on every now and then. So far, at least to myself I am comfortable and happy being me. Gradually I need to increase the circle. I have some anxiety about coming out to friends here in my college. Hopefully, within sometime I will sort that out.

    Sam I am - yes, my stress levels based on sexuality have reduced but I still feel there is a lot of scope of improvement in those first three points.

    monome - This is definitely worth a try. May be I do not have any mental problem, it is just natural difficulty of mind to process many complex things simultaneously. I had tried some basic to-dos, etc earlier which had helped for some time, but gradually I left it. You have given me some new direction rather than considering them as mental illness alone. Thank you. I have installed My Effectiveness Habits App in Android - hope it may help even to improve me by 5% :slight_smile:

    bingostring - Yes, I am not having good sleep. I take sufficient sleep. But it is not regulated. I stay awake till 3/4 without doing anything. It has become a bad habit and yes, that is something I can actively try to make some changes.

    -

    As far as my treatment is concerned - I do feel that my psychiatrist is guiding me in the right direction where else counseling (behavioral therapy) will not reap much benefits when it is still solely on the topic of sexuality (now emphasizing on coming out & staying out).

    If someone can share their views, It would be very helpful :slight_smile:
     
    #6 vicky90, Feb 21, 2015
  7. AAASAS

    AAASAS
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    I kinda have those problems though, it's called being a human.

    There is no one way that humans are meant to act or behave, and it seems you have some character traits that are getting in the way.

    Maybe too much emphasis on it is letting it get in the way. Instead of treating it like a disease or something you need to treat why not treat it just like a part of you and it's something you have to work around and not treat.

    I mean a lot of people are lazy, a lot of people get mild anxiety, a lot of people have poor time management skills and they still get through the day; me included.

    Stop using it as an excuse and force yourself to do stuff. I've been in that hole before where you let your problems pile up in front of you and you sort of just give up because of it.

    Best thing you can do is tackle one thing at a time, and not try to solve everything at onc. Because it will seem impossible to do.
     
    #7 AAASAS, Feb 21, 2015
  8. Eveline

    Eveline
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    Hmm... it sounds as if you have ADHD, here's a description:

    Diagnosis of ADHD in Adults (WWK9)

    What is ADHD?

    Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common neurobiological condition affecting 5-8 percent of school age children,1,2,3,4,5,6,7 with symptoms persisting into adulthood in as many as 60 percent of cases (i.e. approximately 4% of adults). 8,9

    In most cases, ADHD is thought to be inherited, and tends to run in some families more than others. ADHD is a lifespan condition that affects children, adolescents, and adults of all ages. It affects both males and females, and people of all races and cultural backgrounds.

    Some common symptoms and problems of living with ADHD include:

    Poor attention; excessive distractibility
    Physical restlessness or hyperactivity
    Excessive impulsivity; saying or doing things without thinking
    Excessive and chronic procrastination
    Difficulty getting started on tasks
    Difficulty completing tasks
    Frequently losing things
    Poor organization, planning, and time management skills
    Excessive forgetfulness

    Not every person with ADHD displays all of the symptoms, nor does every person with ADHD experience the symptoms of ADHD to the same level of severity or impairment. Some people have mild ADHD, while others have severe ADHD, resulting in significant impairments. ADHD can cause problems in school, in jobs and careers, at home, in family and other relationships, and with tasks of daily living.

    ADHD is thought to be a biological condition, most often inherited, that affects certain types of brain functioning. There is no cure for ADHD. When properly diagnosed and treated, ADHD can be well managed, leading to increased satisfaction in life and significant improvements in daily functioning. Many individuals with ADHD lead highly successful and happy lives. An accurate diagnosis is the first step in learning to effectively manage ADHD.

    ---------------------------------------

    The link has much more information about the disorder.
     
    #8 Eveline, Feb 21, 2015
  9. vicky90

    vicky90
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    That is a wonderful perspective AAASAS. Giving unnecessary attention to problem is creating more mess. You are right. As with acceptance of sexuality - I ought to accept this characteristics of my brain as well. Trying to fit my routine with "normal" benchmark is not going to help. Rather I need to focus on my unique ways to manage the problems. One by one. Gradually..

    And - Lost In Thought - you have made me wander about ADHD. I may be having it, may be not. I am always high on energy and feel restless most of the times - although I also suffer laziness, time management, distraction etc issues. It could be some form of ADHD. But Good thing is - there is no cure it - so I can only accept whatever it is and make more efforts to manage myself. Again "Normal" concept is going to hurt me only. So - thanks for sharing this. I will try to see if counseling can address this for me.

    ---

    EC is wonderful..

    So I am extremely unique I guess - among 5-10 % (homosexual) and further 5-10% (adult ADHD) - Life cannot be better.....

    -

    Anyone having more perspectives, ideas which can help me manage myself . ..?
     
    #9 vicky90, Feb 23, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2015
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