First of all is there any way to get over a crush? :bang::icon_sad: I'm in the closet (Hopefully not for long ride:.) and I have a crush on a straight girl. :eusa_doh: 2.I'm butch but my mom won't let me be myself. If feel like I'm being repressed :***:. Her exact words today were "I don't want no butch haircut (Shoulder length or shorter with highlights, I have highlights but she won't let me get it short, and in my opinion shoulder length is far from short, a few inches below my chin if that is short.) on you." and "You need to start wearing girl's clothes.". She won't even consider letting me do anything that doesn't scream "Look at me! I'm female! I'm also straight btw!" :tantrum: because people might think I'm gay or trans. So what? I'm slightly bi-gender or gender-fluid or hydrogenous or something and I'm definitely gay. I don't see the big deal. What should I do? I can't disobey her (I'm actually afraid of what she might do to me, I know I'll still have a home and go to school though because what better way to ruin someones life besides controlling every aspect of their lives?.). and if I stay this way I have up to 11 years before I can be myself. What should I do? :help: Sorry for any typos. I have autocorrect on. :eusa_doh::***:
1. Well you could give it some time... 2. You could tell her that its not the 60s any more.. and that people are much more versatile now... boys show emotions, and girls are more outgoing... it helps them in their lives... and, well, that you want to try this because you have a feeling this makes you happy and is your style... and you don't really like girly clothes... (*hug*)
I've tried talking to her but she's more concerned with what people thought back when she was a kid and she refuses to believe that people won't hate me for having short hair.
Well you could say that her views are not really up to date... and you could suggest a compromise... having shorter hair and seeing how it goes... and that its more practical anyways... (*hug*)
She won't let me even try having short hair because even though I've pointed out that I could just let it grow back she says I'll hate it and look ugly ad that the dance center I take lessons at doesn't allow short hair. (I've asked the head teacher at dance, there actually isn't a rule about hair length.)
Wow, you are amazingly expressive. I hope your mom can learn to appreciate your take on things eventually. It's hard to deal with how freaked out she is about little things all the time but a lot of moms get like that unfortunately. She's probably doing it because she loves you. Keep doing what you are doing, maybe try and compromise with her a bit more, might help.
You're young - I know, you probably hate hearing that, but I think it's important to recognize it. She is your mother and she feels what she is doing is right. I'd suggest that when it comes up again, you remain calm and open to her side. See if you can compromise.... If not, find a way to just handle it and go with the flow. I know that some people would say you should be yourself and disobey her, but you're living under her rules. It sucks but you've got to face that. As you get older, you'll gain more independence and ability to go out with friends and dress like you want and be who you want.
... At your age there is no other way. You've got two options : You give in and do as your mother tells you, and feel miserable, or you go against her tyranical ways and stand up for yourself. If you cut your hair the way you like it... She'll get mad, she'll yell at you, but after a while she'll get tired and she'll give up. About the clothes you wear = Same. I went as far as ruining clothes, because I refused to wear them. I gave a warning, and she refused to listen, so I made my scissors do the talk for me. She might buy more, but you can always cut more... And more... And more... Until she gets the idea. I got more shouting on my teenager years than a sports mic, and quite a few (really soft) blows from my dear mother, but I never let her stop me from doing whatever I wanted, nor I gave her the blows back : I knew she was a mad old lady. Our relationship was ruined, but I have the rest of the family on my side, so I don't really give a damn. It's your life, not hers. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will. How to get over a crush? ... That's a hard one... Don't ask me, I'm not an expert...
