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How to explain to family that being bi doesn't mean i'm gay?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lucky516, Feb 22, 2015.

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  1. lucky516

    lucky516
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I came out to my parents in mid November of 2014 and they didn't really act how I thought they would. They told me that they love me no matter what but that it doesn't matter now. They told me that they didn't need to know this so early in my life and that they wish I would have waited to tell them. 6 months before that they had caught me looking at gay pornography and they talked to me for an hour attempting to get me to admit I was gay. (at that point in time I didn't know what I was) they wanted an answer that night and told me to tell them when i figure out if I'm gay or straight and they would try and help me get through it. So when they told me it didn't matter after I told them I was bisexual I could tell that they didn't think it mattered because they didn't really think it was a phase. After discussing stuff with them I got no where but I did manage to get them to realize that bisexual people don't want to have sex with everyone they see. They still think that being bisexual means that you are going to turn out gay or straight eventually. Although they will always support me and they don't care what I am it is frustrating that they keep making jokes that I am gay. especially since i have a girlfriend right now. My mother keeps making jokes like "that seems gay... Hey aidan it suits you" I know these are just jokes but it really hurts me. (I have problems with depression and these comments have been a lot worse than the example i gave and they have caused me to cut in the past, which thankfully i haven't done since the begining of december) I need help.

    I need to know how to tell them that these comments hurt me and i need to know how to explain to them that being bisexual doesn't mean im gay or going through a phase. any help is appreciated.
    Thanks in advance ~Aidan
     
    #1 lucky516, Feb 22, 2015
  2. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm sorry they treat you that way :frowning2: Comments like that are not funny and they are frankly very rude. I can't believe they would say that it's "too early" and that you "should've waited". That's ridiculous. They should be honored that you shared this with them. My parents were a little upset with me because I waited so long to tell them actually. It was only a few months, and what they don't understand is that I was still adjusting to it myself.

    Explain to them that when your bisexual, you like both boys and girls. When you date someone, be they the same or opposite gender, it doesn't change your orientation. You aren't straight if you date a girl any more than you are gay if you date a boy. Your sexual orientation remains consistent no matter who you're with.

    That being said, there is a possibility that you may develop stronger feelings for the opposite gender and that you might decide you are gay. That's something you can deal with if and when it happens however.

    I would speak to them about the comments. Tell them that they are hurtful to you, and that you would appreciate it if they could respect your orientation and not make fun of you.
     
    #2 EpicConfusion, Feb 22, 2015
  3. lucky516

    lucky516
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    thank you so much! I will try that and see how it goes!
     
    #3 lucky516, Feb 22, 2015
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