Hi I am a 23 year old bi sexual man. 2 months ago I told my girlfriend of 6 years I was attracted to both men and woman it was the hardest thing ove ever done because i risked losing her. It was hard for her to hear and understand but she took it well and said its okay if I want to end things and explore as ive never done anything sexual with a man. But the last thing I want to do is end things as I am so happy with her and our 2 year old daughter. Our sex life has been good since I told her but she gets worried when sometimes I cant perform sexually. She might come on to me and I feel nothing even if I try, for both men or woman. Its hard and it really upsets her and makes her feel unwanted and think maybe im completely gay as I've only just come to terms with my sexuality properly. But alot of the time im completely attracted to her and love pleasing her but shes scared one day ill realise I'm gay. im confident ill always want her but when things like this happen I feel like theres something wrong with me, I start to have doubts on my sexuality and it hurts us both. I don't feel attracted to guys When I see them, I never have. I could never imagine kissing, cuddling or being in a relationship with a guy, just my girlfriend. I just like the sexual side of both sexes. Sorry for the long post I guess all im wondering is are there any other openly bi marriages or couples out there and how did they deal with it and are they happy together? Me and my partner really want to & really believe we can last for ever. its just good to hear others stories, it helps us both. Thanks
Never been with a girl/woman, but I would say that if you don't have a desire to be in a same sex relationship, why leave her? I say this especially as you have a child. Perhaps you could incorporate gay porn once in a while. You could watch while being sexual with her if she is cool with that. I would think she may not mind watching the guys either.
Hi Aussie, I have been in a relationship with my female partner now for 7 years and identify as bisexual too (also Australian ). It sounds like you have been very fortunate to find someone as understanding as your partner who is willing to continue the relationship with you even in (what I am assuming is) an emotionally difficult time. The way I have dealt with it is by communicating whenever these feelings of doubt, inadequacy, shame and a plethora of other feelings come up. When I start to feel out of sorts I'll talk to her and we can deal with it together It's like any other issue in a relationship, if you confront it, communicate then work together to find a solution then you'll get what you want. When all these things are out in the open and being dealt with you have so much more time to just be with the other person and work on your "normal" everyday relationship. For my situation, what worked was having a semi-open relationship (not sure if that's an actual term). It pretty much involved infrequent physical and romantic relations with another close male friend of ours. Also if you've never tried anything with another male it might be an idea to see if your partner is receptive to you going out to experiment to see if it's actually what you want then discussing it afterwards. And about the swings in sexual attraction. For me this is a perfectly normal occurrence. There will be times where my preference for one gender is almost negligible then it can suddenly flip and I'll be back in between become the complete opposite or I just don't feel anything for anyone. I've found that when I'm stressed I seems to have more of these swings and when the stress is relieved I loosen up and feel more comfortable with myself and what I want. If you have any more specific questions too please feel free to ask. Also it might enlightening for you to read up on Romantic Orientation and your romantic feelings towards females. Give some thought to what fits for you romantically and sexually.
I guess the point I was trying to get across is that there is definitely hope for your relationship if you want it to continue. It's going to take some effort and a lot of communication but if it's what you both want then you'll get there
