Ive been dealing with severe loneliness lately and im looking for some advice and ideas on kinds of places i could go, or things i could do to possibly get some at least temporary friends, and hopefully a few gay friends in the mix. However some things id like to be considered are: First: I am not yet 21, besides I despise any and all alcohol for reasons i am currently uncomfortable going into. Second: i am very socially awkward. Third: I am not willing to come out to family.
You could try the Meetup website - Depending on where you are, there can be all kinds of groups, some LGBT, others not. These can include movie groups, restaurant groups, board game groups, hiking groups, etc. etc. You could also look into volunteering for charity work or a political organization/party that is LGBT friendly. There are also a number of religious denominations that are LGBT friendly as well if you are into that kind of thing. Since you're not out yet, working with these groups would allow you to potentially meet people while not explicitly being 'gay groups', if that is a concern re your family wondering what you are doing with your time or seeing you around or the like. If running into your family isn't an issue, you could also see if there is an LGBT Community Center in your area - depending on how large they are, they may host a number of events for socialization purposes or to support LGBT related causes or issues. Hope this helps, Todd
AKTodd gives good advice. If I could do it again, I would have gone to gay friendly places. I think you are wise to avoid alcohol and bars.
It seems that you have low self esteem and quite a bit of social anxiety. Just the thought of trying to meet people causes stress, right? Well I suggest getting some counseling or anxiety medication. You need to talk to somebody and just spill out all those bottled up fears. Preferably a therapist and not some poor family member. Social isolation is a huge indication of severe anxiety and depression. I have experience in this, depression and anxiety destroyed my functioning for a considerable amount of time. I found that the medication Paxil has helped me immensely, and is used to treat social anxiety.