What Do You Do When People Bring Up Mistakes You Made In The Past?

I'll probably say one of the following:

Thats the past... Its a loooong time ago, who cares.
That was the old me.. This is the new me
I've got more important things to think about

Or...

 

This occurs to me, but usually in the form of my anxiety bringing up things in my mind which if I start to ruminate about my mind will bring it up again later and the cycle continues.

So a method I am trying out is to not get upset about it. If you react like it is upsetting you then your mind (or in this case other people) will bring it up again later. If you show that your past blunders are bothering you then others are more likely to bring it up.

Show that you are okay with it and don't show your irritation. Others will bring it up less then and you will yourself get over it (if you haven't already).

This useful technique has helped me but the key is to be consistent.

 

It is very harsh when someone we love uses our past mistakes to make us feel guilty. The more you love someone, the more it can hurt when they do this. And, sadly, we can't really fully prevent others from doing it, but it's true that the more they realize it affects us, the more they might use it against us. Usually, in my experience, when people do this they are mainly focused on wining arguments against you, or sometimes on reliving their own pain if we made any harm to them with our mistakes in the past (this is more complicated, as we may be doing the same mistake again and hurting them again in the same way, or they might just be using it to make us feel guilty for other reasons—to manipulate us, or maybe even because some people feel guilt because they are not able to take responsibility for their own actions and you are, etc. etc.).

Check your reactions, how do you react when they inflict this guilt on you? Or check theirs, when do they bring this to the conversations? It's not about checking whose fault it is, but more of understanding what is causing it and why and for what.

It is really great that you take responsibility for your mistakes, I encourage you to continue doing so. It is always the best step to learn for our past errors, because we actually find ways to fix them (heal the people that may have been hurt, find closure, etc.). It also gives us the space to reflect, so we don't commit the same mistake in the future.

 

I read a parable once that went like this.
A young boy had a most terrible temper and his father gave him a block of wood, a hammer and some nails. Everytime he lashed out at his family, the boy was supposed to go to his quiet corner and hammer in a nail into the block of wood. Within a week the boy was surprised and embarrassed by how many nails were in the block of wood.
He told his father he did not want to be an angry person anymore and upset others with his tantrums. His father nodded his head and said, each time you manage to control your temper, you may remove a nail from the block of wood.
It took him a month to finally remove all the nails from the block of wood while hammering in new ones in the interim. He brought the block of wood back to his father and proudly declared himself a new changed person.
The father smiled and told him, "Son, I'm happy that you have changed for the better. But see all these holes in the block of wood? The hurt you caused to others may sometimes never be undone even when you have repented."
I guess it takes action and time before people see that you are indeed changed and stop bringing up the past against you. In the meantime, keep your cool because you will prove them wrong very soon.

 

That's just too cheap. I try not to hang around with such people.

My mother is like that... I just answer reminding her own mistakes, and that's usually the spark that starts fighting.

I don't know, I just try to avoid people who does that. Or I send them to hell pretty quick.