Today I found out the girl I really like has started to see someone. I'm happy for her. Crushed, but happy for her. I've put myself out there online again, hoping to find someone, but part of me wonders if I'm doing that too soon. Is it wrong to look for someone when your still crushing on someone else? I just feel like I've wasted so much time already. All the years I was in denial, then closeted, all the time spent working through things, stabilizing myself until I felt ready and able to have a relationship... I don't want to waste more time. And part of me feels like talking to other people will help me move on. But am I making a mistake?
Hey there I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you. I know what it is like to work really hard to get to a place where you feel comfortable only to have things go haywire. It's not easy. Personally I don't date if I am crushing on someone else. My general rule of thumb if I meet someone that I like and am attracted to in some way in these circumstances is to let them know that I find them attractive, but also be very honest about where I am at emotionally. One way you could do this is focus on a close friendship for the time being while making it clear that there is attraction and maybe you might be interesting in more when your heart is ready. If nothing else, you get a good friend who can be a confidant. If it grows into more with time you have also avoided the problems of being emotionally invested in someone else while pursuing a relationship. I really hope that you find your happiness :3
Thank you It is hard. And you make a good point. I've specified that I'm more looking to get to know people as friends before anything else, if there's ever anything else. Im cautious about getting to know people anyway, and I don't want anyone to have unrealistic expectations under the circumstances.
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk to other people!!!! You are not doing anything other than meeting new people and maybe go on a few dates. The person you are interested is not available so that is okay. Your feelings are not automatically going to stop, that's a given. it's okay to feel crushed and disappointed. By getting out there and meeting new people and having a good time will perhaps introduce you to someone who you like, and someone who likes you. So go on, grrl! Get out there!!
Haha thanks! I've exchanged some emails with a couple of people already and they seem like they might be cool. It's early to say yet, but maybe we could be friends. I've been meaning to work harder at making friends anyway. So I think this is good.
This is great! This is working out well, it may or not lead to something however it is a lot better than stewing in your juices. You are doing incredibly well by the sounds of things!
I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm doing ok. But the hurt comes in waves, and it's sort of overwhelming, and talking to other people makes the pain worse. Like today. I don't want to give in to it though because then I'll feel like an even bigger baby. I'm a mess, and I don't like that.
