Hi there I'm going to move next week, i am living at my brothers house at the moment and next week i am going to move to my own apartment. I live here temporarily because a few weeks ago i was kicked out by my ex girlfriend which whom i was living together but since it was her house i had to move out. Not that i am really sad about it anymore because it gave me the chance of rediscovering myself and accept that i am who i am. Ever since puberty i have the feeling that i am more women then man (i was born male) But now i really want to be myself and stop hiding like i did for so many years. I'm ready to make drastic changes in my life but i don't know whats best. I could radically change my lifestyle and wardrobe or shall i take it slowly so that my friends and family could slowly get used to the new me.. I haven't outed to them yet so they don't know a thing.. Besides the wardrobe/lifestyle change i am also thinking about changing my first name in to another of my birth names. My name is now Olaf and i'm thinking to change it into my second name Dominique because it's a more neutral name and i think that with a new start a new name could help for me and for my friends and family to accept the whole thing. But name changing would be kinda radical isn't it... Somehow i think that my parents gave me my second name just for sure...(i wasn't named after someone) I'm kinda stuck on this... Some advise from you people would be really appreciated, and what do you think about the name change?
Many big changes indeed, it's good that you're ready. This is a very delicate subject indeed, I'm no expert, nor have I been through this before, but trying to see how it'd be like to be in this situation... Personally, I'd take it slowly, so that (for one) I wouldn't use so much money in changing everything (moving, buying a whole new wardrobe, etc.), nor would I invest too many emotions in one shot, and/or cause such a big shock to those around me (considering my personal situation, my family is traditional and wouldn't take it well). But, who knows, maybe your family already suspects it; still, we don't know how they might react... I would use my neutral name and just let things flow and change at their pace. It is a big change, but I believe it is more subtle than changing your whole appearance in one shot, it is indeed better for planting the thought in other peoples minds, I think that'd make the transition a bit easier as you go changing more things. But this is my humble opinion and I ignore a lot... I wish you the best of luck, nonetheless! And remember you're not alone
thanks, i think i'll take it slowly indeed althoug i am gonna change my name from now on to Dominique . i've decided to come out to my parents tomorrow and tell them i'm gonna change my name and why i want this.. I think it will take some time before they get used to it but we'll see, being happy is also important.
