I aim to start playing football with this LGBT football team next week but I am so nervous. Im only out to my family and im still scared of people knowing that im gay, even if they are gay too for some reason. Im having doubts about going but I do want to meet new people and to play more football. Its only a kick about once a week. It just feels like a massive step and im not very good at leaving my comfort zone as im not the most social of people. Has anyone else had any nerves similar to this about joining a LGBT group?
Its a great thing to do - to widen your social circles like this. Every time you get butterflies.. see it as a GOOD thing and natural Once you're out there kicking the ball the nerves will disappear!
My best advice would be to just go for it. It's not like they'll judge you for being gay. You already have one thing in common so just go from there when it comes to meeting everyone. And besides, every person there has felt the same anxiety that you feel now when joining some sort of LGBT group. I'm sure they'll be considerate of that.
Totally and completely. I joined meetup for a lesbian social group. Getting accepted was a riggermarol and maybe because of that, I'm even more antsy about going to any of their events. Since then, I've created another meetup id and joined a women's running meetup. It's not LGBT but I've seen that at least one member is. This seems less daunting to me because there is a point to the group other than simply socializing. I'm much happier doing this at the moment but I may revisit the other group when I am feeling a bit more confident.
Apart from here on EC, I'm guessing you have had very little contact with other gay men? If I'm correct, it's natural that you should have these feelings. In all honesty, it's probably the social aspect that's scaring you as much as the recognition of being gay. As the day gets closer you may even give yourself more reasons not to go, but I would encourage you to push those thoughts aside and go for it. I'm sure it will do you good. It's always so much easier to remain in a comfort zone and promise ourselves to do it another day, but that hardly ever works. All we're doing is putting something off and depriving ourselves of progress and enjoyment In life. You enjoy football, you have made good progress in coming out to your family and this is an opportunity to combine what you enjoy with who you are. It will be good for your confidence and self esteem to see it through and you may find yourself some good friends in the process. It's a fear worth confronting.
I think it is good idea to go. Just tell them that you are still in the closet. Almost all gay/bi guys will respect that and keep it to themselves. Kicking around a ball is a much easier thing to do than break the ice at a discussion/support group that runs for 2 hrs. as I did.
Thanks everyone, I feel a bit better now. Im going tomorrow now instead of next week, like Patrick said, its better to do something sooner then put it off for another day.
I'm nervous too. I'm going to an LGBT group tomorrow. (Just a group where we gather and do various things) I've been trying to for about a month but stuff kept getting canceled or in the way, lol. I have never met another trans person so that makes me a bit more nervous. But I am super excited too! I have been waiting for this opportunity for a so long! I hope we both have fun tomorrow Jack.
