At my school, I'm the kid who gets in trouble a lot. Not usually serious, but it can be. I'm also the overachieving kid, the one who joins just about every club, always has their nose in a book, and gets straight A's. I've gotten suspended once, for something very serious, and I've been sent home early before. I feel like the incidents are spread out far enough to be acceptable, but I don't think the administration knows what to do with me. On the one hand, if I was just a troublemaker, they'd have no problem expelling me. But throw 'president of the GSA', 'on multiple boards meant for high schoolers', and 'straight A's' into mix... Well, things must get complicated. The other horrible thing? There are plenty of other pretty bad things I've done that they haven't found out about, and I don't think they will. That may be the problem: I'm too good at erasing my tracks, besides the few slip-ups. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place... I really want to be just the overachiever, and I want to change. But if I tell anyone the full extent of what I've done, which I believe is necessary in order to change, I'm afraid that my situation will become much worse. How can I fix this? :help: :goodevil:
Depends on what you have done. If you attacked another student, or took part in a fight, peraphs apologizing would be a nice first step? Or the situation is different?
The path you're going to walk isn't going to be easy, but I suspect you know this. It can be quite frustrating to go against your natural tendencies, or what you have done for so long, it feels second nature. I currently am walking that path, and have been for several years. But before you can ask for any kind of insight or suggestions, you have to take a long and hard look at yourself, everything must be analyzed and acknowledged, and then you have to ask yourself this question: Why do I want to change? You have to accept your flaws before you can overcome your flaws. If you are not willing to be totally vulnerable and honest, then remnants of these flaws will hide away, festering until they can make a return, because you are too afraid/ashamed/unwilling. You have to be willing to go all the way, if you want to make yourself better. If you want to change, because you are afraid of getting "caught", or to instill a certain image for yourself upon others, then you are going to fail. Because you won't really change, you will only be repressing and stressing yourself. If you want to change, because you are truly sorry or ashamed of what you have done, then you have a better chance to succeed. It isn't guaranteed, but it has a higher rate of possibility. Because change, true change, is just that. It isn't about hiding or altering yourself, that's just diversion at best.
Well... Yes and no. I've done that before, but I was referring to the fact that I once hacked into a teacher's computer. Don't ask me why, I want to know why too, but your guess is as good as mine.
One day you will reach a place where you are competing against not just straight A students but straight A students that are disciplined. If you want to stop doing stupid shit then just stop. A university may not accept you because of your disciplinary record, don't you think that will suck? Having the ability to go and achieve something somewhere but being unable to because of stupid decisions in high school? You sound like you have the desire to achieve in life. Don't let that desire be over-powered by the short term benefits of misbehaving. Detention is for those who suck, if you don't suck then get your ass out of detention. Life is hard enough without you sabotaging yourself.
I totally understand what you're feeling. When I was in 6th grade, I was the biggest trouble maker, and I always wanted to tell someone what I'd done. My advice is, tell someone you can trust. Or if you're comfortable with it, you can always tell us (the community), as we're very supporting of everybody. Also, another piece of advice is to just tell yourself not to do these "bad" things. Just pretend that something bad will happen if you do something bad. P.S. I'm pretty new to this forum, and although I'm straight, I've always been very welcoming to LBGTQ.
At your age I don't think you've ruined your chances of going to college or getting a job yet, but from what you've said, sometime soon it probably will start to impact what you can do after school. The fact that you recognize this is a good start, so you are on the right track. I would recommend talking to a counselor or therapist. They may be able to help you figure out why you've done some of these things and help you with strategies to stop yourself in the future. Even help you come up with ways to use you energies in a positive way. Another trusted adult may be able to help with this too, but except for instances where someone's life is in danger a therapist is usually required to keep what you tell them confidential. Good luck
