Suriving in a Conservative Christian Environment?

I used to live in an extremely politically conservative environment, but it wasn't much Christian or otherwise. People claimed to be religious, but not one of them was actually a Christian. They just used religion as a tool to gain power, money or influence over others.

Two months after my 18th birthday I moved out to another country for studies, knowing that I will never come back. That was ten years ago.

 

I grew up and still live in an extremely orthodox jewish community, which I imagine has a similar ideology. I've only started coming out to my immediate family, most of whom were extremely unhappy about it. But I've tried to make it clear that wtvr religion says about homosexuality, I am the way I am and there's nothing i can do to change it, and they don't have a choice but to accept it. They're extremely worried about what our community will think of they found out, but it's no one else's business. I'd like to think they'll respect my parents for trying to be supportive more than they would if they had kicked me out. I think when you're so involved in a religious community, a person should stay in the closet until they can come out as proud and confident, or else what other people say will really get to you.

 

I've never lived in such a conservative environment but my best advice is: be yourself (as hard as it may sound) and talk to us... most of us can understand you and be there if you feel alone. By the way, never feel ashamed for being who you are

 

This brought back so many memories when I was younger, I knows there's something different about me and every Sunday to church, I would always pray and beg God not to make me gay. I was so young then and there was never a day in church where I would pray to enlighten and change my dirty thoughts.. It felt so wrong and I feel so guilty being attracted to the same sex.. That's what it did to me being raised and born in a catholic country and raised in a orthodox Roman Catholic upbringing.. I really don't know what change, but I still have a personal connection with God and I don't feel like he hates me anymore.. It was the most heartbreaking thing when growing up you were influence and deep in your heart they made you believe that you are going to hell, and I am a sinner and I will never be accepted.. But I say fuck it all, I will be who I am and I will be true to myself.. But I don't think il be able to come out to other people especially my family and close friends.. Don't worry eventually you will be able to just let go of things that drag you down... Just start with yourself, learn to self-reevaluate and take away the burden by accepting yourself first then those things will follow..