What's your opinion of having a "friend with benefits"? My views on this have changed a lot lately from personal experience. I'm curious to see what you've all experienced and what your thoughts are.
I think having that type of relationship complicates things. You go into it as friends but at the end of the day sex is emotional, and one or both people might develop romantic feelings for the other. If it's only the one person it could jeopardize the friendship. I think it's best to just remain friends without the intimacy.
I had a guy friend who offered to "teach me some things" because I was pretty inexperienced when it came to sexual stuff. It was weird and awkward. I knew I had zero romantic or sexual feelings for him and he told me that he wouldn't ever like me "like that" but he ended up getting jealous when I told him I was going to start going on dating sites to meet up with people. We don't really very chat often anymore. It's not awkward really but our friendship has definitely started to fade... so I think the FWB just kind of complicates things.
I was originally thinking this guy I was into and I would just be friends with benefits, but it's developed a little beyond that. At least I think it has, we are calling each other boyfriends, though his friends get less detail about me. I've also turned a hookup into a friendship because there just wasn't any spark in the sex, but I really liked him as a person. Something he later confided to me had never happened before, a guy stopping him in the middle of a BJ. For me, sex has always been wrapped up with intimate emotional feelings. The hookups I've had just weren't nearly as satisfying as my boyfriend and I being together. I'm not sure how things will work with my boyfriend and I. We are so far apart in age, I just don't feel I can ask him to be tied down to me. And, I'm not quite ready to to enter into any monogamous relationship at the moment. We've agreed to be open and honest about meeting other people. Heck, him telling me about his last hookup got me so hot and bothered.
I think that is works for some and not for others. It takes a certain mindset to be willing for a friends with benefits type deal. Personally, I wouldn't mind it...
I've actually considered to have a FWB once, but then I realized I'm a better than that. And knowing me it would just cause me more problems than I want.
Personally, I would never have a fwb. there's a friend group at my school where they basically hookup with each other all the time, casually. and as far as I know no one has gotten hurt so far. although I would have to say that is a rare exception.
As long as both people are on the same page, it can be an okay thing. It can get extremely complicated when one person assumes it might be something more and usually this party winds up getting hurt. Sex is generally just easier within the context of a relationship, but if you're both single and want to "blow off some steam" (so-to-speak), but not date, FWB can be a way to achieve that. Has anyone been able to maintain a friendship with an FWB after the WB wears off (say because 1 person enters a relationship)?
I don't care if other people are into that sort of thing I've given it a try and it didn't work for me. I wasn't the only friend with benefits he had, and I felt incredibly jealous, and another reason why it didn't work out is, I developed feelings for him. So I'd rather be in a committed, monogamous relationship than to just "fuck around" (Pardon the pun). To each his own
I was always really kind of scornful of people who did that - why not just have a real relationship? Well... now I've found someone that I've hooked up with a few times but we're not dating. And you know what? I do like it. It's fun and I enjoy her company but neither of us really have time to be in a relationship. I don't know if things will turn out good or bad or what yet, but I figured I'd rather try it and get at least some of her rather than none!