I can't do it, I'm just going to revert to being that guy who just has to be by himself forever. It's my destiny to be alone. I think alone and depressed is all I'm good for. I am going to repress everything again because it causes too much pain to me. I have to do this it's my only option. I am a screw up.
Why do you think that? I don't think you are a "screw up". I've seen posts from you and you don't give me that impression at all. It's not your destiny to be alone. I think we all create our own "destiny", you just have to go for it. (*hug*)
don't get back in your closet and feel miserable... there's someone for everyone... Like Quem said create your own destiny...Go for it boy!!! you're worth it!
I think the repression would hurt you more in the long-term. I screw up all the time, but that's often how I learn. Life is full of options. You won't know how it could've turned out, if you were to give up now. Why do you think you're doomed to be alone forever? Are you taking steps to finding a suitable guy or are you out of energy?
Well I think I'll be pretty old before I have the chance and I feel my city doesn't have a large enough LGBT community. I might just need time really that's why I might want to repress some of my emotions and feelings cause I don't have a chance at the moment.
It might have just been a reaction because I'm hopelessly crushing on a guy at the moment and I can't stop thinking about him
you should never give up!!!of the people here on ec you usually never fail to bring a smile on my face and you're nice with everyone.Maybe you can look for an lgbt community in a place where you can get to by train or car in less than 3h. If you're in love and it isn't returned the world seems hopeless and you think you'll never ever find love but that isn't true.Live is long some people have to wait longer than others but you shouldn't lose hope over that.keep going.if anyone here deserves someone wonderfull in their lives it's definitly you.
You have come so far since you joined us on EC Justinian and I think it would be a real shame to see you revert back to a place of deep unhappiness. Even though you are not finding it easy right now (partly for reasons beyond your control) you are still in a better place than when you first posted here and I would encourage you to stay focused on what you have in fact achieved. It's not easy when you are crushing on someone who seems so out of reach, but you are still young and have plenty of time to find happiness with someone who can return your feelings. It may not feel like it right now, but if you begin to convince yourself that it will never happen or that you have no chance it can set in train a range of feelings that you really would be better off without. Don't get sucked into that thought pattern as it can be difficult to shake further down the line. You have the potential to live and find love at some time and in some place so keep your sights on that goal and lean on us for support and encouragement. (*hug*)
I know you're right, I need to focus on how far I've come. I have achieved a lot ever since my first post. that is what I need to focus on. Thanks so much, I can't thank you guys enough for your advice.
Hey, sorry for posting late on this one... But I want you to know, I do like you, I really do, man, so I feel sorry when I read you might be hurting... You are a part of EC to me... Just the way you are. I know if you went away I'd miss you. Look, people come and go in our lives, and to idealize them in our minds it's a one way ticket to dissapointment. So guard your heart, dear, 'cause it's the second most precious thing we have (first one being health). We'll be around if you need anything. You are the kind of guy who deserves it.
I feel like this a lot, it's not good. I don't function well in the gay community, and it makes me feel pretty inadequate. I guess I always felt inadequate actually, it's just now I'm more aware of it and I'm angry, at myself and the people who gave me a reason to feel that way. I'm a hypocrite for saying this, but don't let people define how you measure up, it's a bad habit to get into. I'm really bad in that way, my self-esteem is pretty low and it makes me angry, I wish I had never let people make me feel inadequate.
There are 7 bilion people in the world. 7 Billion. Andyou think none of those billions of people wanna spend time with you? I mean, even statiscally that's hard. Think of life, or nature, or society, whatever, as a clock. It has million (billions, even) of small peices that are all necessary, one way or another. Every single one, be it a small piece or the biggest one of them all is necessary. And you're one of thosse many pieces. Now, when i buy watches, i don't get spare parts. They just replace them when necessary. They never make extra parts, because they could end up being useless. So why would you think that you are useless? Big or small, you are necessary to someone, something in this world. We all are.
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like a screw up most of the time for who I fall in love with. It seems pretty hopeless sometimes. But, I keep believing I find someone and I believe in you, too. Reading stories and such always helps. You will find someone.
