Lonely at night

I've been dealing with the same thing lately. This pit opens up inside of me, and all the things I don't like to think about come crawling out of it, until there's this emptiness inside where I can feel all the things I'm missing. Something that's helped me is to stop thinking about what I don't have, and focus on the things that I do have instead. It helps to remember there are people who care about me. Try thinking of the people who care about you. Sure, it won't be the same as having a significant other there to snuggle with, but it's something, and those people, those relationships, are still special and have value, and they're still there even when you're alone.

 

I know what you mean. I always get through the day fine when I have work, etc. to distract me, but when I'm laying in bed alone with my thoughts for a while it's easy to get down on myself. It's hard not to feel really lonely sometimes. =/

 

Whenever loneliness gets unbearable I tend to go tease my little brother or play with him. If I can't play with him then I grab my Son Goku plush (since it's "human shaped" it works better) and hold him tightly until I start to feel better. (Yeah, I talk about this plush as if it was alive... So what ?)
Or I just grab my tablet and read mangas until I get too tired to stay awake.

I hope that my coping methods will be useful to you.

 

I too feel like this ,guess that's why I'm always up at stupid o clock times...

 

Oh yeah, that feeling. Been there, done that. Those darkest thoughts aren't all you, just so you know. There's bits of our brain that present the alternatives, criticism, and disappointment. It's important to understand, those thoughts/voices are a part of you, but not you. Just like you aren't your appendix, or ear.

My inner critic had control of me for my life until last July/August in fact. It was a screaming drill sergant in my head telling me what a worthless piece of shit I was. Man it feels good to ignore that. To be able to put up my quiet lieutenant in response and have the sgt report to latrine duty with those stupid thoughts.

Talking about it helps a great deal, so I'd encourage that. Be as open and honest as you feel you can be, but talk to people about this stuff. You aren't alone with what you feel in your head.

 

I had that shortly before I came out. I would wake up two to three hours earlier than normal and just be lying there feeling isolated, vulnerable, scared. It was like the world was caving in, a feeling of claustrophobia. I now understand after so many years why they call it the closet - it's dark, suffocating and an awful place. Nobody should have to exist in there. Of course, I've had sleep problems since coming out having to deal with everything about my sexuality and identity but it hasn't been the same lonely feeling.

 

omg, this thread... ;_; *me on verge of crying for all of you

I understand the feeling OP... I went through almost two years of university before I had been diagnosed with depression, and even after I started getting help, nights were the worst. Crying oneself to sleep sounds terribly terribly cliché, but sometimes its just the way it happens you know? I used to have a "blanky" when I was younger, but recently I've started cuddling my blankets again. My grandmother made this beautiful quilt for me, and I can't go to sleep without it.

Since I started expressing myself in private more, it has helped, but the loneliness is still there, especially since the person I love the most lives far away, and probably doesn't want a relationship with me anyway... I love her so so much...

(&&&) at least we have each other, right? (&&&)

 

At night, all the thoughts that make me somewhat anxious/scared/etc. during the daytime (when I have something with which I can distract myself) come out and they tend to be unadulterated. I tend to find myself clutching onto my pillow, sometimes pretending that I'm holding someone, and positioning my blanket(s) so that it feels as if someone's arms are around me.

Yeah, for being 'happy' to be single, it can get absolutely lonely sometimes, especially at night. I'm far too young to want to be with someone this badly, but all I can do is try to relax, take my mind off of it, be patient, and remember how having someone won't fix my loneliness.

 

I know what you mean I just try to distract myself as best as I possibly can.

 

This happens whenever I realize that I have no clue what I'm going to do in the future. Like sometimes I just feel ugly and conflicted. I mean even thinking about finding someone and having a relationship just makes me feel sad and lonely. Being gay but not really open about it is....tough :/

 

Playing word games on the computer or online helps.
As does reading a book about something that doesn't contain any kind of relationship issues or love interests in it.

My brain is over active, and it is very difficult for me to get to sleep at night and stay asleep, its been like that for years.

I have tried sleeping pills to try to sleep, but they just give me diarrhea.

My current doctor gave me something called Temazepam. It works really well for me.
It quiets my brain so I can get tired and go to sleep. I take it when I go to bed, then I watch a couple of 30 minute cartoons or something, then I'm tired and sleep all night.

You might try listening to classical music or ambient music, turned down low.....that can keep your brain from thinking too much of one thing...because it's trying to hear the music, so it doesn't get stuck on one thought so much.

 

It's how I became a workaholic, anything to stay busy and keep mind off real life is how I escaped from reality.

 

Aw I'm sorry. Whenever I feel like this I know it's time for me to meditate because my soulis trying to inform me of something.