So yeah. Dark thoughts again. I feel very lonely. I mean I'm a very romantic person and I have always had the urge to look after someone else. The thing is: all friends are getting boyfriends as they grow up and I'm still alone and haven't come out to many people yet. I want someone. I don't want to be 40 and lonely. Sorry if this may offend some 40-year-old people but I think that would kill me. I want to marry, I want a family.:tears:
I currently feel similar to the way you do, and I'm the same age as you are as well. I want another person that I can plan a future with. We just have to do our best I guess. I'd start by coming out to more people.
Things will change when you come out. Some girls will be probably interested, and you'll have a different attitude when you stop pretending to be somebody else. You are 17, and your 40s are far away, it's me who should feel scared, you know?
It sounds like you're going through a lot at the moment, and I can't imagine it's nice feeling like that. The thing is, once you're at work or college, you'll meet a lot more people, and you'll be able to meet more people who are romantically available. So that should hopefully make things easier for you
