1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Struggling

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by etcetera, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. etcetera

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2014
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I've been feeling down for a while. More and more I feel like I'm messed up, and I reckon I need help. I tried to get an appointment with the uni councilling service, but have to wait 3 weeks due to cut backs. I'm missing lectures and forgetting deadlines. Having completely lost interest in what I'm studying, I reckon I'm gonna score really poorly in the Summer exams (in approx 6 weeks). I know I need help, but I don't feel I can talk to friends or family, and there's no local service that I can use. I can't afford to drop out of college, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay in my course if I don't do something soon.
     
  2. MapleBrownSugar

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ottawa
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Listen, because I was in your /exact/ shoes no more than four months ago. I started suffering just like how you described after mid-terms of my first year second semester. I only did poorly in two of my 5 classes, but it shook me up since I was used to better grades. I started suffering from anxiety, and as I started into second year, living on my own and cooking for myself, it only got worse. I'd skip meals, skip classes, skip outings with friends, by third year, this past fall, I was messed up pretty bad. I started self harming, stupid rule breaking, I cried myself to sleep because I couldn't stop what was happening to me, I felt trapped because I felt like I couldn't quit school, I didn't know who to talk to or what to talk about, I was confused with who I wanted to be, I was lonely, I was scared.

    I'm getting better though, because when I thought I could't stop, I did just that, I stopped. With difficulty I realized that I didn't have to go further, at least, not right now. It was hard for me to finally comprehend, but when I realized that I /had time/ to step back, to look at things differently, I felt a weight lifted, if ever so slight of a weight. I didn't have to continue school, I could come back, maybe change my major, stay home and maybe help my parents, get a small part time job for spending money, time to breath and think about things.

    I don't know what position you're in, your relationships with your friends or family, and it must feel like you're dragging all your worries around with you and it clearly weighs heavily on your shoulders. But... maybe you can afford to leave school. Not drop out, but just have an academic break. Some schools allow students upwards of a year or more of no classes before they deregister you. It'll be a hard choice (it was for me and it is usually hard for everyone), but maybe you can find time to stop, find help, and maybe find something else that interests you, something you'd want to study, that stimulates you.

    Stay strong, I'm still figuring out what I want to do, but we can do it (*hug*)
     
  3. MisterTinkles

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The World is My Chewtoy
    Have you thought about a course change?

    I don't know what you are studying, but if you have become bored with it, you can always change your major.

    Have you seen a doctor? You might have some vitamin deficiencies that are causing you to feel this way. Sometimes college people don't eat the best foods, or don't eat often enough, and that, coupled with the class stress......messes up your metabolism.
    I would see a doctor and get some blood work done, to see if anything is going on where you are missing certain vitamins. Lack of Vitamin D can cause a lot of the symptoms you described.
     
  4. etcetera

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2014
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm pretty sure I'm not vitamin deficient (daily vitamins plus more time spent in the sun recently, as well as a fairly ok diet). Can't really take time out, and we were explicitly told at the start of the year that we couldn't repeat our first year, with the exception of extreme circumstances (the only people who were allowed to redo the year last year had some seriously rough stuff going on).
    I do want to stay in my course (not in doubt) and used to enjoy what I was doing. My issue is that I feel like I'm derailing. Changing major's won't help.
    My situation isn't as bad as I feel it could get. I'm looking for help. A friend of mine in my course went through a rough patch and ended up dropping out. I've decided I don't want to end up like him, but I recognise I might if I don't do something about it.
    I went to a workshop thingy run in a safe-space environment by my college's LGBT society. That kinda helped. I started getting work done, and my sleeping pattern isn't as bad as it was (although keep in mind that I'm writing this at 1am). I'm just trying to find a way to get my life together, which is fairly difficult for me at the moment.