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obsessive body image issues...aren't just for women

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Celatus, Mar 18, 2015.

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  1. Celatus

    Celatus
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    I remember from a very young age (elementary school) feeling very insecure about my body. I just hate it. My negative thoughts about my appearance fueled my depression and continue to plague my thoughts. I almost wish I could've just been born in a different body. I like myself as a person, as a mind, but have always hated my given genetic makeup. Often this kind of issue is common with girls, so I don't know if it's some kind of gay guy thing or maybe I just have a troubled conscience. I know that realistically it's not all that bad, but I cannot shake the thought that I'm some ugly, nerdy, scrawny twig. I have never wanted anything more than to be attractive. This sounds shallow, especially considering my intelligence, but it remains a desire like no other in my twisted mind. There's some part of me that just hates the body and lanky body type I was given and realizes that I'm kind of stuck with it. With my anxiety, I don't even like wearing short sleeved shirts because I'm such a twig. Forget taking off my shirt thanks to some weird scoliosis chest thing which makes me want to wretch. I've reached a point where I feel unworthy of even being in a relationship. And being a guy, even mentioning something like that isn't understood by others. This led to a strong envy of my peers for many years, but I came to realize that in fact I also find some of them very attractive, which made me realize that I'm also pretty gay. So this insecurity thing is complicated...
     
    #1 Celatus, Mar 18, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2015
  2. awesomeyodais

    awesomeyodais
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    You are definitely not alone :frowning2:.

    I think one thing that makes it more complicated with gay guys is that we often compare ourselves to guys we find attractive. Straight guys usually don't expect to look anything like the girls they find attractive.
     
    #2 awesomeyodais, Mar 19, 2015
  3. Argentwing

    Argentwing
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    I think I had the same issue. Even in elementary school I felt completely oafish and eventually creepy looking. Sometimes I like how I look, others not so much.

    But I have no choice but to make like Taylor Swift and "shake it off." People usually exaggerate their bodily flaws and minimize most others'. Personally, I am almost exclusively attracted to skinny people, and as you put it, twig-like guys always catch my eye.

    So body image is one thing, but know that somebody out there does think you're cute. :wink:
     
    #3 Argentwing, Mar 19, 2015
  4. robclem21

    robclem21
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    First of all, you are definitely not ugly.

    Second of all, there are tons of people I know that love the nerdy, scrawny look. While it is definitely important to be happy with your own body, what's also important to remember is that not everyone shares the same attraction. Even though you may not be attracted to your own body type, doesn't mean noone else is, and it certainly doesn't mean you are not attractive.

    I find remembering that helps me when I get down about my body. There are things I hate about myself, but people I have been with tell me they love those things about my body so over time I have learned to just accept it and realize others like it even when I dont.
     
    #4 robclem21, Mar 19, 2015
  5. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Doesn't make me hate it less xD but seriously thanks, I guess attraction is different for every person. I find myself looking at some of my classmates (unbeknownst to them :wink:) and just admiring how goddam handsome they are haha.
     
    #5 Celatus, Mar 19, 2015
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  6. xylaz

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    Woah man! I can relate to that on so many levels. That envy forced me to torture myself with the guys that had the perfect athletic, muscled physique I never had before. They were everywhere and I felt dreadfully inadequate.
    Unlike you, I was chubby, and short, and way too small and awkward to stand up for myself. Right now, I'm as fit as I've ever been in my life. I cannot say I will have the perfect body, but I know I will hate myself more if I don't try.
    You're attractive and I'm not saying that just to be nice. I would rather have genius intelligence over excessive sex appeal, but unfortunately I don't have much of either, so I'm pretty down. Anyone can work on their body. You still have an opportunity and you should seize that, but do it yourself(health, being happy, a fun distraction) and not just to impress someone.
     
    #6 xylaz, Mar 19, 2015
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