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Worst Week of my Life

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Aro, Mar 27, 2015.

  1. Aro

    Aro
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    Almost.

    I just need a place to get some hugs and vent, I think. This will probably be a longer post, but I need to get it out.

    The last two years have been terrible, but particularly the last 7 months. My grandfather passed away 2 years ago now. My grandmother's health began to decline fast after that since she can't take care of herself and was alone in her home. So my family decided to go through renovations and redo the entire house so that there is an extension for her to live in.

    That was a long time ago. It was supposed to take 2 months, but here we are almost 8 months later. A full year from when we decided to do this. I am alone for now because I moved back into the house and that is probably the only good thing that happened this week.

    The thing you need to understand about my grandma is that she is a hardcore Christian and is very set in her ways. So I am very hesitant to ever come out to her. Furthermore, she is extremely rude and really only cares for herself in any one matter. It's her way or the highway. It's an extremely frustrating personality to deal with, especially since her memory is going. I am understanding of that, though.

    All of the horrible started the day before my birthday this year on March 22nd. I was getting ready to move the last bit of things out of her home where we had been staying for the duration of the construction and I noticed something very special to me was missing.

    You see, my grandpa and I ever since I was a very small child had this exchange going on. I don't even remember how it started. But no matter where we went in life or when landmark birthdays came around, we would gift each other small figurine turtles. For years, he knew that when he passed, that was what I wanted to keep. It was our thing. And very dear to me. I looked in the spot he used to keep them and noticed they were gone. I immediately walked out and asked grandma where they went. She responded that 'oh, she threw them out a long time ago'. Threw them out! I can't replace those! I was shocked. She didn't ask me. She didn't even think to ask me before she tossed them. How could she? That was the only special thing I had of my grandpa's! It wasn't even like they were taking up room! There were only about 5 of them! Tiny! Even worse, when I seemed upset and couldn't believe it, all she had to say about it was 'oh well, too bad, they're gone'. In the most casual tone with a shrug. In my mom's words (she was there to witness this), she sounded like it 'meant less to her than dirt'. She didn't even apologize. If I accidentally did that to someone, I would feel terrible. But she didn't give a single tit about it. Not one.

    So I spent the remainder of the day as I was moving boxes crying. She still hasn't apologized. I thought, at least I was moved back into my home. But that is when the second thing happened.

    The very next day, not even maybe 10 hours after I moved into our brand new house (I pay rent and live in the basement as basically an apartment) the basement started flooding. Through no fault of the contractor's. Apparently the house had a 90 degree angle pipe in it that was there before I was even born. With all of the new plumbing, it couldn't handle it and it backed up. Which ruined the brand new wood floor. Literally peeled it up from water pressure. So now it has to be replaced. Not even a day after I was here! This was on my birthday. Happy birthday, Aro, here, have a ruined floor and water flooding. So the plumber came by the next day and fixed what he could. The contractor installed a few one-way blockers so if there is another backup, it will go to the shower and damage nothing. And there is also a water alarm in place as well. So there's that. Nice however, free of charge, my contractor is willing to jackhammer inside the pipe area and fix the angle so it never happens again. But curse everything, that means another horrible thick layer of cement dust that I will have to clean. I just cleaned everything! Ugh.

    But the worst of all happened yesterday. I am still upset, but I will explain. I have a ferret named Loki. He is the joy of my life. I love him more than anything, if you couldn't tell by my avatar. He is my baby. I've had him since he was 3 weeks old. Every check up, my vet has told me that he is the healthiest ferret that she has ever seen and I have always been so proud. Glowing reviews. His weight has even been exactly the same. Literally perfect. Except 3 days ago now, I noticed that he was not himself. He was sluggish, couldn't stay awake for barely 20 minutes (if you know ferrets, they sleep a ton, but they should be awake at least 1-2 hours at a time no problem). He didn't want to really play. He'd cuddle, but he didn't want to do anything. I absolutely couldn't get him to play. I also noticed him stumbling. He was standing there and his hind end just sort of flopped over. He is 4 years old, so not very old. They live 6-8 years on average. I knew something was wrong. He's my baby. I know him too well. It was so subtle. I am not saying that this was obvious. If you didn't know him, you wouldn't notice. But I did.

    I got him into the vet the very next day. I don't leave things. But before that, I had done some research. I was absolutely sure he had Insulinoma. If you don't know, you can look it up. But basically, it's reverse diabetes. In ferrets, it's caused by tumors on the pancreas. I was panicking. The doctor insisted again that he was in perfect health. On my insisting request, she went to take his blood sugar because I was certain. I knew in my heart. She came out looking grave and confirmed it. I don't know what it is measured in the US or other countries, but he had a terrible blood sugar of 1.3. I was sick. I sobbed. My baby. My poor baby.

    She gave me the good news that I had caught this earlier than she had ever seen before. She said I was very lucky and that I probably have saved his life for some time to come. That gives me hope. He has been put on Prednisone, and I have to make sure that his sugars don't get to low. I have bought some honey and sugar to coat a treat in if he gets low, but the Prednisone will help. The drug is made for shrinking tumors. It's used for humans as well. The tumors in Loki are not cancerous, but what makes me fret more than anything is that it will one day claim him. I only hope that I have a long time left with him because I caught it early. It doesn't distress me any less, though.

    However, the very same day after coming home and getting his sugars up, he was back to his old self. Better than his old self, in fact. He has been happier and even more playful than he has in a very long time. He's been having an absolute blast playing with me and it really gives me hope. Before yesterday, I couldn't even speak I was so upset. Now I am filled with the hope that he will be okay for a long time. I just didn't want to say goodbye to him before his time was up, you know?

    Either way, he is going to lead the rest of his life in the best health possible and he will be loved and played with every day. It still absolutely crushes me to know that my poor sweet boy has this. It's the tumor part that terrifies me. If it was just sugars, I could easily manage that. But tumors are permanent. They don't go away. They won't magically get better. The Prednisone will shrink and hopefully keep them down to normal for years.

    I'm doing better today. But it was just one terrible thing after another this week. One of the worst times I've had and definitely the worst birthday I've ever had. Anyways, I'll stop gabbing. If you've read all of this, thank you so much. I just desperately needed to let it out. Any support is appreciated and loved. Thanks.
     
  2. Feline

    Feline Guest

    I know it may sound ironic, but Happy Belated Birthday! I sincerely hope your days improve.

    It does sound quite bad, I'm sorry your grandmother acted the way she did, and I understand your anger. I'd be crying too. But, let it pass, let it go, we don't really know what is going on inside of her. And, at the end, even if she threw the turtles away, no one can ever take away from you what they meant to you. And that is the important thing, the bond you still have with your grandfather, the love and happiness that was born from that. Keep that in your heart, you could even start a new collection in his honour. :slight_smile: Keep the tradition alive, just in a different way, you know. Don't resent your grandmother, you'd only be hurting yourself with the bitter memory. Let it go.

    Loki, what a lovely name, and he has such a cute face too. I'm glad you found out on time, and that he'll be able to have more time yo share with you. Cherish that time, don't let the thought of death distract you from what you have right now. You and I know that death is unstoppable, and that it may come in a couple of years or sooner than you might expect, but holding onto this thought will only bring you sadness and anxiety, and every moment you have with him is precious, isn't it? Don't waste it. Yes, death is the only certain thing we have in this life, you can't prevent this from happening, and you must accept that when it comes to happen, but for now... he's alive, and healthy, loved, and well-cared—don't lose yourself in the future, live with him now. :slight_smile:

    Good luck with the house and everything, I really hope things improve!
     
  3. Aro

    Aro
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    Not ironic at all. I appreciate it. c:

    It's just the icing on the cake with my grandma. She is one of those people who doesn't show any kind of respect until you're her age. I will learn to let it go. For now, it hurts. I thank you for the kind words and insight, though. It does make sense. I certainly will. Still stings for now, but that is a good way to look at things.

    Absolutely. I am glad you like his name, lol. I am a Norse mythology nerd and it seemed perfect at the time. I'm glad for all of those things too. It's hard not to worry. But I can happily say that for the first time in 2 days, he actually at a good amount of food that was in his bowl before going to sleep today! That makes me happy. He wasn't eating at all for the last day. I can definitely say that it opened my eyes to what is important with him. I haven't wasted a single moment and I don't plan to. I took him outside into the sun today and he loved that.

    Thank you so much for your message. It really does mean a lot. And you had really good points and a lot to say. That is exactly why I posted and needed another perspective. *hug* It always helps to have people care. Appreciate it a lot!
     
  4. Michael

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    Hey, Aro, sorry to hear that... Well, everything you posted, specially about your pet.

    Good thing is that you acted quickly and the vet told you so. I'm glad for you both.

    Yes, tumors don't go away... Sadly that's life... A fragile thing that we need to see in danger to apreciate. However I'm sure you are taking good care of your little one, he'll make it (*hug*)

    About your grandma... I'll try to make it short... I've known people who is like her, people very close to me, and the only way to deal with them is just to forgive them.

    I know, I know... What a shitty advice, right? Still, there is no other way to deal with such folks. To get mad at her won't give you the turtles back, nor will change her ways. Just avoid her as much as you can. People like her have usually a ton of issues themselves, and they go and spread their problems wherever they go. You could try to change her, but this life is not a disney movie, so it would probably give you more headaches than anything. Remember that she is unhappy... She'll stay like that, and it is her problem, not yours. Try to secure the stuff you don't want to see gone, and forgive her.

    I had a couple of birthdays like yours. I remember than in one of them nobody called me even, plus somebody told me in very rude manners that my grandmother had just passed away and it was a good thing for everybody. Some days just suck... And they happen to be our birthdays... Could have happened on any of the 364 days before or after it, but it just happened on that particular day...

    Take some time for yourself. Enjoy a good movie with your pet. Give yourself a break, you really deserve it.

    Next year will be better, you'll see (*hug*)
     
  5. Aro

    Aro
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    Thanks. Of course, the most trouble to me is Loki. The other stuff has definitely been put from my mind the last while. I'm certainly nowhere near as worried about that stuff.

    [​IMG]

    He is definitely happy. Look at that snuggled cute face. That was from just last night after we played about 2 hours. I just finished seeing him again. An hour this time, but I only woke him up after 4 hours. I really should wait 5-6. But thank you. I really hope so and I really appreciate you saying so. *hug*

    It's not bad advice. I just wish that my feelings could forgive sooner rather than later. It's just that I've been through a terrible lot with her, especially being at her house. And that was just the last straw. I talked everything else out but that was really important to me. I hate to say it, but it's a shame that she'll be living with me soon. I would prefer that she stayed. But we are very much not compatible. I'm not going to change her. She's beyond changing. Some habits and behaviors need to change for here, but you're right, it's pretty pointless otherwise. Luckily I don't want anything else, so. Won't need to secure anything. And that was my problem. Literally the only thing I wanted.

    Jeez. I am sorry to hear about those past experiences for sure. I've had some great ones. And bad ones. But none quite like this. Pure insanity. I think it was just that I didn't have a break. And between the stress of moving and everything it takes to clean up an entire house, it just about broke me. XP

    I am definitely sitting back to enjoy myself. On Sunday I am going to the musical Book of Mormon, so I am definitely looking forward to that.

    Thank you. I seriously hope that next year is better. Because I can't take any more rotten years or rotten luck. It's been too long. e_e