I never had this problem before, I thought I will get over this, but obviously I can't. 4 months back I was depressed and suicidal. I was texting my friend how horrible I feel and that I want to end this pain, and in the end she told me to stop whining and do it already, she said I was using my bipolar disorder as an excuse for not replaying to her, she said I 'made it up'. I wasn't diagnosed then, but after 3 months I was, and I'm on meds now. After she told to literally kill myself, I have nothing to tell her. I don't know how to talk to her anymore. I'm not mad, sometimes I get annoyed, but it's nothing. She said sorry so many times, but she doesn't understand why she should feel sorry. She keeps telling me all the wrong reasons, and she just...doesn't understand. I don't want to lose her, but I don't know how I feel about her. Everytime she says something, I don't feel like talking to her, and then she starts to play the victim, saying it's all her fault, like it's going to help.... What should I do?...:icon_sad:
Look at that. It sounds like you have a manipulative little drama queen, to put it simply. While it isn't excused, I can understand the whole "do it already" approach. Basically, the logic here is, you'll "scare them into thinking right", by calling their bluff. Even if it works then, it may result in things becoming worse later on. Everything else, though, is pretty condemning. Those last two parts, especially, about her not knowing why she should feel sorry, and the 'playing the victim'. Two distinguishing traits of somebody with either a lack of empathy or a serious disorder, and who should be avoided. You may not be able to stop problems from happening, but you can control adding to them. From what you've shared, your friend isn't going to help you very much, as it will always be about them -- and no friendship, real friendship, works with just one side.
If you can, yes; if not, do not, but the same will happen to you later in life, not being forgiven. God can forgive anything, and forgives all who ask, if she asks for forgiveness, forgive her if you can.
That's the point, I can't see how I can forgive her if I am not mad. I don't consider her to be my friend, she knows that, but we are not enemies, and I don't know if I can call her manipulative, because, is she?... It's just, everytime she textes something, I don't know how to replay, or I am not feeling well and I don't replay at all, I don't want to argue with her. We fight, or we keep quiet. We fight really really bad, and then we tell eachother goodbye and then after a day she textes me again, from nowhere 'what's up?' , tells me she needs me and all that bs. I don't know what to do, and I'm super confused...
It's hard to say, since we can only go off what you share. You know her best, though what you describe sounds problematic. She may not be intentionally manipulative, but some of these traits are manipulative. Like... Sometimes folks aren't up to talking, and all parties involved should know and respect that. What stands out to me is the "she needs you" when, clearly, most of what you have described, sounds like she needs you -- for her. That part about using a mental illness, and being totally insensitive then and later, the not knowing why she should feel sorry, and especially the playing victim, are red flags. It is possible she does care about you, but it is really obvious there appears to be something else going on here. I understand folks aren't perfect, but it is glaringly apparent, whenever the conversation begins to heavily focus on you, she seems to turn it around back to her. Or so I have gathered, from the information you've presented. Have you tried talking to her? Maybe telling her, to tone down some of this. I suspect she may get mad, and if she does, you may have confirmed the obvious. The fact you pinpointed this many things, and if she doesn't acknowledge any of them, would be proof enough for me to consider moving on.
I have talked with her, and one time she gets angry, and another time she goes 'I'm so sorry I was in your life, I won't annoy you anymore. I am really sorry' and then I feel like it's all my fault.... All the time.
