Has anybody had experiences with administrators at colleges with blatantly transphobic, ambiguous, or no policies on accommodations for gender-variant and trans students? I've felt very intimidated by the administration of the colleges that I'm probably going to attend. For example, I'm expected to come up with a medical letter and have people vouch for me that my gender identity is officially "diagnosed" even though I have a non-binary identity that isn't recognized by the medical community, being trans isn't a medical issue in the first place, I'm not out and thus can't have any people to vouch for me, etc. etc. etc. I'm very concerned about not being able to have my proper name show up in school documents and ID cards, not being able to have safe housing, and being misgendered by faculty and students. My state is a conservative one where few schools have established policies to help trans students. I'd really appreciate input from other young trans people who have had to go through this.
As far as the name change, a court ordered legal name change is the gold standard here in the US. Generally these are thru the probate court who'se jurisdiction you have lived in for at least a year. Costs and proceedures vary, though. For other things, I don't really have any suggestions at the moment.
Write a strongly worded letter to the management, explaining the situation. Keep at it, and explain it to them in person if they don't respond. I can't imagine them refusing if you are really convincing.