Hello All! I would truly appreciate if anyone can help me out with what I am currently going through! Thanks in advance!...... I tried cutting my story shorter but couldnt Let me begin with some background about myself: I am a 27 year old female, who has never been out to anyone but my brother, I would consider myself bi although i had never had a relationship with a woman. I have only dated men. BAckground about my friend: 29 yr old female, single mother of an 8 year old, been divorced, was raped by uncle as a child, has social anxiety therefore doesnt date guys as much. My Story: Few months ago I met this current friend l in school. Since we met we would text every day (some of our convos even consisted about dating guys, but mostly talked about how our day was going). We would hang out almost everyday for about 2 months, going out to eat, movies, and also taking the same college courses. Some weekends her son would hang out with us too. We go to school Monday-Thursday and on weekends we would also hang out, expect Sundays. One day after class we decided to go buy some drinks and just hang out. I was buzzed she was definitely more buzzed than I was (not sure if she was drunk). We ended up making out several times during that night. SHe initiated it. Nothing more happened. The next day we didn't even talk about it. We continued with our lives like nothing. 10 days after we went out on a weekend and again we were both under the influence (I was buzzed (but knew exactly what I was doing and she was more buzzed than I was-not sure if drunk) and made out again. Again nothing more happened. She did mention that she had always been curious of what it was "to do things with a girl." Next day we didnt talk about it again. At times we would have disagreements on daily topics and sometimes she would act different-distant n short. Well one day according to her I made a comment that to apparently I was not being empathetic of what she was going thru and said she would no longer tell me much of what would be going on in her life. Since then, we stopped texting as much as we would. Our texting went from like 100% to 30%. That same weekend we didnt go out (it was the first weekend that we didnt spend together) Monday came and when I seen her, she was acting "different." Was very distant and short. When class, ended we each left home rather than go out to eat as we usually would. That same day, we didnt text at all neither. The next day she decided to text me to congratulate me since I had finished my BA. She said we had to celebrate and therefore invited me to have drinks. We met at 12pm at a bar and were drinking until 5pm. We then went to go pick up her son from school. After that we went to another restaurant and continued drinking. By 10 we left, she decided we go and buy more alcohol and drink in the car. Again I was buzzed she was more buzzed. And although her son was in the car asleep already, we made out again but this time she performed "digital penetration" on me. I asked her why do that if shes not getting anything out of it? She said she was getting pleasure out of it too. I felt horrible that her son was in the car too but at the same time I enjoyed it. I myself tried to pull her pants down but she wouldnt let me. SHe said she liked doing things to me but wouldnt want me to do things to her. The next day she mentioned that she regret the fact that she didnt take her son home since we ended up sleeping in the car. SHe was also scared that her son had seen what we done but never mentioned anything else about it. We went back to not texting each other anymore like it was few days ago but still seeing each other in class. Weekend came, I asked her if she wanted to hang out she said she had no money yet she was gonna go out with her friend (a female). This was the second weekend we didnt hang out. Monday came and she was acting weird again, being short and distant. Thru out the week, we only texted about 10%, on insignificant things. Altho she was acting different on Wednesday of that week I asked her if she wanted to catch lunch she said yes. That day I wanted to ask her why was she being so distant the past two weeks (not texting the same as we would nor hanging out as much) I didnt want to because she started acting nice like she used to be when things were "normal." The same day we texted all day even after when we each went home. Came the next day and we didnt text at all. She didnt even show up to class (my assumption she didnt have a baby sitter for her son). I asked her if she was coming to class, she never replied. Since then I have not heard from her.Its been 3 days. At this point I know I can just say screw this and walk away. Only reason why I dont: I will see her Monday-Thursday in school, I now have feelings for this person(even tho I think feelings are not mutual), and altho she acts "weird" at times , I want to believe that at the end shes a good person n dont want to lose her friendship. I will come across her tomorrow I am not sure whether to ask why is she acting different or not, and what are her thoughts about us "messing around." I feel that I cant question her since we are only friends but then I want to know why is she acting different. What shall I do? Please Help! Should I ask her whats wrong? the fact that we messed around could that have messed up our friendship? I am so clueless and keep breaking my head of whats going on! THANK YOU! any advice is welcome
Well don't kno if this is still an issue... it seems she is kind of conflicted... you might simply talk with her about it... its possible she does not want to talk about it first... well it might help if you could talk about it, maybe about her anxieties... hugs
Paragraphs are your friends Ummm, the bit about her son being in the car during that is weird. Kids see and hear a lot more than we think, and it's possible that he did wake up and was too embarrassed, unsure or afraid to let you both know. Imagine seeing your mom getting it on with someone, anyone. Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel bad about it. Your friend is the one at fault for that. She doesn't sound like a healthy person to have a relationship with. She's apparently incapable of dealing with feelings unless she's drunk, which is a bad sign to begin with. I think it's pretty clear she's feeling guilty after, when she's sober, and that's why she pushes you away. Not because of you, because of her and her issues. Then when she wants to get drunk and hook up with you, she answers your texts and acts like nothing's different. The common theme is that she's thinking about her feelings, but never yours. You deserve better. I know that's a cliche, but in this case it's really true. You deserve someone who has worked out their issues and is comfortable in their own skin, not someone who is hot and cold and doesn't think about how you feel.
