so today I was tie dying at my dads house and I was making a rainbow shirt just because I was running out of ideas and thought it would be cute. I always thought of I came out to my dad he would be supportive because he tries to be supportive of me no matter what. But when he saw it he said "be careful where you wear that because people might think you're gay" and I know that is not a big deal at all but it still made me feel weird. Should I just come out already? I probably should have said something then but it caught me off guard so much.
It's hard to tell what your father thinks here, other than he is aware, non-heterosexuals potentially face obstacles, and may have just been giving you a warning, like any sensible parent should. You can't really guess how he would respond, if you were to come out to him, off of this. You'd want to get his reaction and opinion on LGBT-related issues, maybe watch something with him on television about that, if it comes on, or find an opportunity to discuss it. That will give you a clearer idea of his actual standing. Keep in mind, some folks are fine with LGBT individuals -- so long as it isn't their kid(s). The reasons for this vary, but it is worth remembering.
It all depends on what you're comfortable with. It find it easiest to come out to someone in sutch a way that we can think about what just happened afterwards without immediately having to confront each other about it. Letters, texting n'sutch can all achieve that. In the case of my therapist, I literally just said "By the way, I'm not straight" right before I left her office one day.
yeah it's hard to predict what will happen because people react differently when someone they know comes out. My aunt is a lesbian and my dad has always been ok with it, more so than the rest of my family, but it is always different when it's your own kid, He also say "that's gay" a lot but I think that's just him being stupid lol
I think it was more of a warning than him being homophobic. And the "that's gay" remarks are thrown around so loosely nowadays I wouldn't pay much attention to it. If you think he'd be supportive of it, then I think you should tell him! I remember my cousin came out as bisexual to my mom and my aunt one day, my aunt is not her mom but she's afraid of actually telling her own mom, and they tried to get her to tell her mom but she was completely against it. It's nice to know your dad would be supportive of it.
The case I put forward is that people saying 'that's so gay' isn't really offensive as it's been used as a phrase for 10 years at least now and when that happens it changes what the individual words mean. But if you want a meaning from what he said it's along the lines of 'wearing clothes like, that due to stereotypes may lead people to think you are gay', with a metaphor about the social obstacles put in the way of gay people.
Well if you are not out as gay, regardless of anyone's opinion of it as well, he could be right. He might be assuming that you don't want people to mistake you as such. Clearly it's not as big a problem as he expects.
I think you should come out when you feel most comfortable doing it. You can tell him that you thought it was cute, which is not a lie because you did think it was cute and all. He could be just looking out for you (if you live in a place that's not a safe place for LGBT). Like what Kaiser said, some parents are fine with homosexuality when it comes to others but not with their kid(s). So I guess if you're not sure about coming out yet, then don't. Do it when you feel most secure.
