I know I should probably see a therapist but I'm kinda scared after hearing horror stories Anyways, I feel like everything is hopeless because I'm never going to get into the career field I want. And I would hate myself if I ended up in a dead-end office job. Also I never knew anyone who was gay growing up and I still don't really know anyone (like two or three of my peers). I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone and even if I did I wouldn't have the guts to ask them out. Sorry if this post is too depressing, here's a dancing banana: (!)
Why do you feel everything is hopeless with regards to your career? Honestly when dealing with depression, speaking to someone really can help. I would recommend speaking to someone who is professionally trained. You do hear bad stories about psychiatrists etc. but you just have to find the right person. I went through 2/3 different people a few years ago until I found someone I was comfortable opening up to. That being said if you are dead against speaking to a professional, maybe you could speak to a friend or family member that you trust? Love and relationships are difficult. You are still young and even though it does feel like you might never meet someone, that is probably not the case. We all feel that way if we really want it to happen and it isn't. Anyway, I really hope things start to improve for you and that you stay strong if you ever need to talk just drop me a message (*hug*)
I understand you feel a certain way, and that words like depression and anxiety get used a lot lately, but if you feel this way, don't even worry about treatment. You may be upset, but not sick, and the only way to do that is through an evaluation. See if you have a diagnosis, or if you just have quite reasonably, the blues. Good luck!
arfff hi there, just want to tell you that youre not alone... i have my down time at least more than once and currently still try to find my balance so i don't fall again. talking about careers you are 18 right? my guess is you're currently on the senior year of high school? i dont know exactly but the passion of certain field may go away or grow even stronger. 4 years ago my parents forced me to pick pre-med program but the field i really wanted to go is engineering (chemical or industrial will be fine). now i am happy in my field because this way i can actually help people and see the result with my own eye. Just find positive way to enjoy and the passion will grow. and since you're still 18 you still can find another program if the one you have right now doesn't suit you. About knowing another gay people hey... this is why we have internet and this forum in the first place, to expand our border and find someone like-minded. for knowing anyone just try hang around with bunch of people on welcoming party, birthdays, etc instead of 1 on 1 coversation. It works for me because i'm kind of awkward if i'm on 1 on 1 situation and being surrounded by a lot of people help me feel less tense. Just find more suitable way/environment to socialize, works for me, maybe you should try it. i agree with Vesalius, you cant deal with anxiety and depression by yourself. Finding a professional definitely will be very helpful, and you're in NY so i'm pretty confident that there are a lot of LGBT friendly psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist that can help you.
Hello, pde. About depression, you are not alone in this, depression can be a bit difficult to deal with at times. Things may seem hopeless and bleak, but things can get better. It's best to talk with someone who knows how to help. Some therapists can be good when it comes to depression. I'm here to talk if you want to. Attending appointments with psychologists or therapists can help immensely, and if they aren't really that good then you can usually find another one somewhere else. If you want, you can learn about breathing techniques and try new things that can keep your mind off of negative things. Sometimes that helps out a lot when dealing with life. There are people who care and you are not alone too. Talking here can help out as well. When it comes to careers, it can be overwhelming at times with people telling you what they believe is best for you and being undecided with what you want. It's okay to feel that way about choosing a career. Some people usually don't have a major in college when they start out, and during that time they grow and come to understand over time with what they like and what they want to do with their lives. Sometimes when it comes to that, you choose what you believe will be best for you and what will make you happy. Don't worry about others when it comes to something like this. As for finding other LGBT people, it's usually good to start looking around sites like emptyclosets or groups that meet in your local area. OR if you'd like, you can explore other groups that meet around in your area as well, friends can come in all shapes and forms, and you will eventually meet people who can be good friends with you. Is you want to talk, then I can listen. I'm usually a listener.
Honestly, you should really consider seeing a professional counselor. When I had my first "major depressive episode", I finally broke and talked to a counselor at my university. She really helped me find a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. I changed careers drastically, from going on the path to a science PhD to now doing art/craft. I suggest looking for a counselor who knows "cognitive behavioral therapy" and LGBT issues. In the meantime, check out these mental health tests. https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/tests/health You're only 18, so don't worry about not knowing any other LGBT people. At your age, many people still only know those from their high school and immediate family, and when you get out into the world, especially college, you will find far more people who are like you.
I have anxiety and seasonal depression and its really hard. I went to a therapist and although it wasn't a horror story, I didn't really get anything out of it either and she was very weird about me being gay. Anyways, therapy when you have a good therapist can be extreme beneficial. Sometimes you are so overwhelmed with your feelings you are using all of your energy just to feel ok and therapy can give you a little piece of mind. There are so many little things you can do that make you feel better. When I was severely depressed, I would try to be around people as much as possible. I know that seems like the opposite of what you want to do but it really helps. If you don't want to see a therapist at least talk to a friend or someone. It is really helpful when people at least know your situation so you don't feel like you have to do everything by yourself.
