Teacher and a Dream

Just thought I'd warn you, the first half of this will be about a teacher crush/love, and the second half will be about a dream in as much detail as I can muster. Feel free to leave now if you don't like big blocks of writing, but I'd like it if you could at least read the first half.

For anyone who remembers me from about a year ago, I got over 'J' (my best friend) so no more awkwardness there. But I have instead moved on to the next cliché that usually applies to straight people too: I love my teacher. If you're done rolling your eyes/sighing, then I can attempt to scramble together an excuse for why I'm different even though I'm probably not. I think in my last post about J I panicked about age restrictions and said I was 19 or something, I'm actually 14. I've had Mr C as a music teacher since half-way into the last school year, so just over a year. Although since a lot of my friends are musical (The previous J is not the same as the one I'll mention for the rest of this), there's L, O, B & J. J gets along with Mr C really well and it's not surprising since he seems so down to earth and genuinely has laughs with his students. So J introduced us before Mr C taught us. Then my original music teacher got fired (Rumour has it she lost it and threw a chair at someone) and Mr C took over. At first it was fine, I did well and got high grades since I'm fairly musical myself, and it was great while I was distracted by a different friend of mine. But towards the summer holidays, as I got over him, I realised what my type was. And guess who's my type? Have a cookie if you guessed Mr C. If you didn't guess Mr C then you mustn't be listening well.

So I had that floating in my mind for the holidays, and when I got back to school I was horrified to learn I'd have him again. Because I'd learnt the best way to deal with lost love is to find their flaws or leave them for several months. So I went to his lesson and remembered he's flawless. He has this black hair slightly gelled to the side, he's kind of small but walks with the style he wears, he has a great body and his eyes are this deep dark brown that I can just gaze into forever... Sorry, did I say something? Oops. Well he also has this odd kind-of-lisp-kind-of-accent-kind-of-Alfie-Deyes voice going on too; and he suits glasses. I have met maybe two people in the world who suit glasses. So yeah, the term until Christmas was torture enough. Did it get better the next term? Hahahaha... Of course it didn't. This was when the incident happened, someone had spray-painted on one of the music classrooms saying 'J (my friend's name) was here'. Obviously J was in trouble for about half a day until they narrowed it down to five people. I was somehow one of them because I fitted with the time it was done. So one day I'm walking down the corridor when Mr C walks past and asks for a word. We step inside a recording studio, he shuts the door, there's just the two of them in there and every part of me screams 'THIS IS IT!'. I was wrong, of course, and I'm glad I had the patience to learn that. He leans back on a table and I try not to blush or be flustered or lean in and kiss him, and I manage to tell him the writing wasn't me and I don't know who it was. Then I left. Ever since then he can't leave my mind but the main reason I'm typing this is because of a dream I had last night.

It starts off with me being alone on some form of field just by a road and I'm waiting for someone to drive by. I get bored until a car pulls up on the field and parents & their daughter try to leave. I help them and keep their dog in the car. Then they walk of to some freaking huge building that just appeared further down in the field and I recognise all of my friends walking towards me. Then I look down at my feet and see small arches on the ground with blankets in and it just seems natural to slip into one and talk. Then this teacher walks by and he leans down into my little alcove and he's like Mr C only slightly more perfect, with more defined abs through his shirt. He asks me some questions I don't remember and for some reason I mention 'booty' and he smiles and leaves. Then my friend E from primary school walks in and he mentions that he mentioned booty to this new teacher as well and I joke about being glad I'm not the only one who said it. Then my own parents arrive and we go to this teacher's office and I can't remember what we talk about. I learn his name and it looks something like Mr Devigyn but that's not quite it, and it's pronounced something like divine. As I leave the office, I attempt to emphasise my hips and shake my, for lack of a better term, booty to see his reaction. I turn to see his reaction to this, and he stares at it until he sees me looking, and then he stares back into my eyes and smiles. That's where the dream ends because I was woken up.

Sounds crazy but it's what I dreamt and I figured out that this 'Mr Devigyn' is what I see Mr C as. This dream was a wake-up call (pun unintended) as to what he is and what I see him as. Also, I've been unable to focus in his lessons because I'm thinking about him but I still get the best grades. This combined with the many times I've caught him staring at me tricks me into thinking there's something there.

I suppose the questions are should I tell him? How do I get over him? What do I do if there is a connection? How could we deal with his job? How should I tell him? But all advice is helpful and if you're going to say it won't work without any advice; don't bother. I've seen all of the websites and I've asked several people across the internet, I know it has less than 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of working, but if you do have advice then please share it.