1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm in love with a straight guy and I swear he's into me to

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by kparsons, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. kparsons

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somerset, England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi Everyone. This is my first post on this page so allow me to introduce myself. I'm kparsons, I'm male and 22 years of age and came out just over a year ago now.

    My apologies If I'm bringing up topics that have already been discussed however I'm struggling to get satisfaction from the advice given on other websites covering a similar matter and have a desperate need for some direct advice on this issue I'm having.

    The guy in question is a friend of my brothers. At first it started very small, I first met him when he came round for a Halloween do last year. The first thing that struck me was that I found him very attractive however I knew he was straight so didn't give it a second thought at the time. Things really started for me when he just popped into the house to hang out with my brother for a bit. He was at the top of the stairs talking to my brother about the gym he was going to. In the meantime I come out of my room without a top on as I was looking to get another one off the clothes line... As I came out and joined in their conversations for a bit I could swear I caught this guy checking me out while he was talking to my brother! Then a few moments later said that I should join him at his gym at some point (considering this guy barely knows me). Anyway I tend to go through bouts of low self esteem from time to time so while its quite clear at this point I was probably just over analysing the situation (heck maybe he just thought I could use a gym :lol:slight_smile: I did enjoy thinking about the possibility that he may have been checking me out almost as a self confidence boost sort of thing. As a result of this thought I think I started to almost develop a need to meet this guy more as that meeting situation did strike my interest and at this point while I found him attractive I was still unclear about his personality. So eventually I decided to try and come up with an excuse for my brother to bring this guy along on an outing. All three of us love going on photography safaris of abandoned building/sites so it was the perfect opportunity for us three to go out.

    This is where things really started to make me think it wasn't just me. Before I went on this trip I really tried to set myself up to be completely neutral and cool about the situation and to not jump onto any tiny little detail this guy throws my way as evidence of interest. He was just another guy hanging out with us and that was it. However from the moment I first met him that day, I was taken by complete surprise. He seemed to be all over me! I mean for example when there were situations where my brother would split off on that day he stuck with me almost every time rather than my brother and at these moments in time he would make remarks every now and then of how nice the day was and make points about different parts of the scenery. This didn't come off small talk either from how I took it, it sounded a lot more sincere. He also insisted on taking several photos of just us two. I mean these points sound silly in words but it was just his presence in general. He acted like I was his best friend from the moment I saw him that day. Anyway the day after, he added me on Facebook and again I was picking up on these signs. He almost jumped to respond to anything I put up almost at an instant (including stuff not relating to that day), liked almost all the comments and posts I put up (again instantly). He even made the effort to reply to some posts which barely warranted a response! (not that I mean to put this guy in a bad light or anything it didn't come off as creepy!).

    So now I'm just confused, I was in love with this guy enough already before all these signs and now after all this I'm just completely crazy for him. But while I feel like this guy comes off in such a way (both on facebook and in person) where if I asked him out I feel like he would be thrilled with the idea (not meaning to sound cocky :icon_conf) I have the people who know this guy describe him to me as someone completely different to the person I met that day. They describe him as some super macho guy who's always going on about women and is about as straight as they come. I mean this guy was telling me how beautiful the streamlines coming off a jet in the clear blue sky was for **** sake! Who the heck is this guy his friends are describing???:eusa_doh:

    Anyway so I'm here on the edge of my seat desperate to make the next move on this guy as he's just got the most amazing sweet personality and he just seems to be coming off so keen but on the other hand I'm terrified of embarrassing myself at the risk of his friends being 100% right. After all they know him a lot better than I do.... Thanks in advanced for anyone who can help and sorry if I come off a little blunt as I've said I'm still a little new to this relationship wise so I'm still getting to grips to reading the right signals.:icon_conf
     
  2. DylanV14

    DylanV14 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cleveland, Tennessee
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Maybe the guy they describe is acting as to not seem gay

    ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2015 at 11:34 PM ----------

    And he feels with you he can be himself

    ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2015 at 11:34 PM ----------

    Does he know you are gay
     
  3. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2012
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    178
    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC!

    I don't think you should read too much into it at this stage. Suss him out a little more before assuming he may be interested in you romantically. Get to know him more, maybe he's just being friendly, seeing as he's friends with your brother.

    Please keep us updated, we all love hearing these types of stories, especially when they have a happy ending! :grin:
     
  4. kparsons

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somerset, England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    You could be right DylanV14. I met up with some of my friends once who had met him for just the odd day one time and apparently they didn't take to him at all (The conversation was kind of awkward as I hadn't told these friends that I like this guy yet). Again though, they also described him to be a completley different kind of person. They even went as far as to describe it like he was "posing" or "wearing a mask". And I said nothing that would influence them to say that....

    As for whether this guy knows if I'm gay or not? I've never brought it up myself to him. The only way he could know is either if my brother told him or he just figured it out using different sort of things I may have said in the background. I would have to ask my brother really but it'll be awkward considering he's already told me to give up on this.....:confused:

    (Sorry for the huge messages :lol:slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2015 at 09:57 AM ----------

    Thankyou VelvetBlade! I'm glad I've joined I really think a site like this is going to help me alot!

    Again, I think you also raise a good point. To be honest my original idea was to go about this exactly like what you are saying and was going to sort out more outings with us 3. I think though it's just got to me a bit because I wasnt able to score such a day this weekend and I really wanted to see this guy again as soon as possible! It was only then when I was forced to tell my brother about these feelings. Now I'm worried that if I try to get my brother to bring him out again, he's going to get awkward about the situation...

    I'll definatly keep you posted though! I'm as eager to find out as you are! :icon_wink
     
  5. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,359
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Remember when he invited you to join him at his gym some time... well, how about it? Is it something you would be willing to consider? If you join him at the gym it gives you the perfect excuse to spend some time with him and get to know him better. Maybe then you can decide if it would be worth hanging out with him more socially.

    If there are any LGBT news stories worth sharing on Facebook see how he responds to them. If he 'likes' them it doesn't mean he is gay or bi himself, but his comments might give you a clue about his feelings.

    Just keep your feet on the ground and avoid forcing the issue. At the very least you seem to have made a decent friend.
     
  6. kparsons

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somerset, England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thankyou for your advice PatrickUK.

    While I do currently go to one gym I have made the effort to go to his gym every now and then (as it's generally a much gym than mine anyway!) and my company is well received by him as usual. I think you are right though in the fact that I should just try to 'stay on my feet' for now. I was just telling my sister how I just want to forget the inhibitions and go straight in for the kill and try and score some sort of social outing with just him. But I think you have all helped me decide that I need to just get a few more casual outings with both him and my brother before I do anything rash. It is really hard to fight the urge though, after all if there was a small chance he was into me I wouldnt want him to think I wasnt interested myself...
     
  7. DylanV14

    DylanV14 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cleveland, Tennessee
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well I hope everything works out for you and good luck
     
  8. kparsons

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somerset, England
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thankyou DylanV14. We'll see how it goes!