I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself, but it's really hard for me to move on from the girl that turned everything around; another reason that lets me know I'm definitely not straight-- because I've never been so stuck on anyone. Even long term relationship break ups. I just learned through this website what a trigger crush even is, didn't know what to call her, besides the d word, and by d, I mean devil :lol::bang:...:tears:. Since she was the first person that I was so completely attracted to in an electric way, I'm always scared I'll never find it again, or I'll never be attracted to anyone as much as I was to her. I'm still struggling with a lot of things, sexuality wise (still find men attractive and it was only one girl I went nuts over, but I literally went NUTS over her. More nuts than ever before), but a lot of it surrounds the intense emotions that never got to be fulfilled. She was messing with my head the entire time. Acting like she was super into me, flirting with me, liking me, and then when I told her how I felt, gave me the most psychotically rational response about how she wasn't into me that way. I really should find her creepy, but everything still hurts like hell. Everything about it still makes me sad. It's been a few months since she's completely out of my life, even though we tried to be friends afterwards. I just feel like I'll never get over her, and like I'm left with all of these feelings and emotions with no where to put them. I wanted everything with her, and I'll never understand how with the way she acted, the feelings weren't mutual. Has anyone ever gone through this/gotten over this type of situation and had a happy ending? Or just more confusing x infinity?
You're gonna need time, probably more than a few months. If you've still got a lot of thoughts about what happened, feelings that you didn't get to resolve with her, then write them all down, all of it out, then rip it up, burn it, whatever. Tell yourself 'stop' every time your thoughts move to her, and be strict with yourself. When you think about what could have been or should have been, you need to challenge that with the reality that it's not going to be, that it's for the best, and then distract yourself. Most people have experience of unrequited love and there's no way around the fact that it hurts like hell! It can be truly awful, but people do survive and move on. There is hope. For certain, wallowing about her, having what happened consume your thoughts all the time and playing it over and over - that aint gonna help one bit. When you're not so hung up on this girl you will more likely meet someone who blows your mind.
Thanks for the reply, scouse. It's just so hard to picture being with anyone other than her, but I think it's because of the first time feelings that came with her...how sucky. I agree, though. I think that if I give myself time to get over her and the situation, eventually someone else will get my interest. Now I just struggle with if it will be a guy or a girl... Thanks again
I haven't yet and it's been just shy of a full year! I haven't really met any other guys who immediately peaked my interest yet. I've met two other gay guys and pursued them but they didn't work out.
Trigger crushes are the worst. I know that if mine turned up on the doorstep tomorrow I would probably invite her back in to my life with open arms. The first ones are without a doubt the worst. 9/10 they won't like you back because they aren't questioning. OR they are taken by someone else…. Distract yourself from this person as much as humanly possible. Surround yourself with friends and others who care, because you yourself need to get over it. Hope this helps !!
I know how you feel...for me, anyway, I know that I'll never get over her; no matter what man I marry, or what job I have, or even when I have kids, I'm never going to stop loving her. Most trigger crushes only wake you up, but for me, it got to the point where I'm in love with her; always will be. But I'm going to write a novel about her, and go to college, etc; she's inside of me wherever I am, we're connected, so I will never really lose her.
What do you mean by whatever man you marry? Your orientation says lesbian, just a little curious as to what that meant. Hope you're not going to hide your true self away. ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2015 at 09:16 AM ---------- Yeah, except she was the one initiating such emotions. I was attracted to her from the moment I started speaking to her and actually looked at her face, maybe she picked up on it, because then she started relentlessly flirting with me. Which led to months and months AND MONTHS of texting, hanging out and constant questioning and analysis on my end. Thought something was definitely going to happen with her, but she must have really been getting off on the scared little questioning girl.
I have to marry a man. I have to in order to have the life I want; for some reason, artificial insemination just seems wrong to me. I believe that kids should have a mother and a father- NOT that lgbt couples shouldn't have kids, that's fine with me- and...maybe it won't be so bad. I'll try to find a good, nice guy, similar interests and such. And I'm not honestly sure whether loving her makes me gay, because up until I met/fell for her I was straight-with a desire to experiment, sure- but still straight. It makes me sad, yeah, but I don't think I have any other option. ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2015 at 04:57 PM ---------- My love for her is unrequited...it's not like we were ever together or anything.
