I'm 22, and I've been unlucky throughout my whole life when it comes to girls and guys. I've never had a date. I've never kissed anyone. Nothing, and whenever I get to know someone well, I just mess up. For example, I was trying a dating website for the first time, and have continued to speak to a guy for a month and a half. He seemed interested in me, saying that he'd like to hang out or go on a date, and then he flakes out. I also mentioned I was unsure about my sexuality, and then clarified I indeed was bisexual. I gave a time and a date, and he just shook it off. I mentioned this in another thread, but now he hasn't talked to me for 4 days and he was online today. Anyway, the thing is, I don't think I can truly pursue love until I lose weight. I'm overweight, and I've been told it doesn't matter. I really think it does, and until I lose the weight, I feel like giving love up until then is the best way to not get my hopes up so high and then hit this pitfall. I'm really sad right now, and feel so low. Any advice?
That is the most telling piece of what you've written. I want to say something when it comes to weight, though. Yes, some folks like model-like bodies, but you can have a tummy and still be sexy. It isn't the weight itself that discourages people, it's how you live with the weight. If you come off as active, happy, and healthy, you're golden. Somebody will like you. While I don't believe giving up on love is wise, there is a foundation here for you to work with: Use your desire to be loved to motivate you into activity, even if it's just walking a block or two a day. Listen to music, daydream, just something, while you're being active. Over time, you may incorporate more into your routine, and you'll begin shedding pounds. You'll feel better, too, though be patient, as results can take a little while to show. When you see people looking at you, because you treat yourself well, they'll know, you can treat them just as well -- and that, darling, is what attracts them.
Hey there. I'm also 22. Never been kissed. Never even held hands romantically. I have had a relationship, but it was long-distance and we broke up before getting the chance to meet in person. I've had a lot of similar thoughts to you. Thinking I'm not attractive enough for someone to kiss me or to want to get to know me on a romantic level. Wondering why it just hasn't happened for me yet. I've also been on the online dating scene recently and have been disappointed at the lack of responses from anyone I'm interested in. I'm just here to tell you that you're not alone. Sometimes it feels like there's this weight on you and the longer you go without being kissed, the heavier it gets and the more unattractive you'll be to potential partners. It's hard, I get it. For myself, I've been trying to find ways to love myself as hard as that may be some days. Hopefully knowing that others are in the same boat you are will provide some reassurance. It does for me at least. Good luck to you, friend!
Something interesting happened last night. I was hanging out with a group for my friend's 24th birthday, and at the time, I talked to a woman on the opposite side of me. We chatted a lot, but I wasn't attracted to her, but you can tell she is attractive to the usual guy. Well, after a while, she began to touch my hand and look at my googly eyes. Then, after a few drinks, she held my hand again, and looked even more lovingly. To be honest, this is the first time anyone has touched my hand, but the thing is, my heart didn't even beat faster at all whenever she did these things, and it's made me realize that I am more gay than straight. I was really surprised. She's hilarious, and seems like a great person, but the spark wasn't there. Just my luck, eh, but at least I know I can be seen as attractive! As for you, Glencoco, just keep trying and try not to look too hard. I've realized that if you rush it, it won't feel right.
