I really struggle with being gay, because I can't seem to get over the need to be straight. I still want it so badly! Not long ago my mom said, "It's a lot easier to be a lesbian than a gay man." That comment really bothered me, because when I came out to her, she denied it and said I was straight and just going through a phase. She won't talk about it. And she thinks it's a breeze being a gay woman. But I don't want to be one, and it's a real struggle, but I feel like if it really IS easier than I shouldn't be struggling with it. :-(
I'm sorry for your problem, your mother seems unaccepting try helping her understand your perspective, don't give in to anger, be adamant and please remember you're not alone.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your Mom doesn't have a clue whether it's easier to be a lesbian or a gay man. You know what you feel and you have a right to be validated. Your Mom clearly isn't validating you. I totally understand your want to fit in and be straight, because your Mom isn't accepting. It's so sad that in today's socieyt people are still so unaccepting. My parents said the same (it just being a phase) when I came out or rather, they said it years later when I was seeing a psychiatrist. In a way they were right that I am now married to a man so clearly I'm not a lesbian like I used to think, but then again it's still deeply invalidating to say such things. Even if it were just a phase, it'd be important that your Mom support you. She can't know who you may or may not fall in love with, and you know you best and know that it's not a phase.
I hate to say it but your mom sounds like a hypocrite. Anyway do you think that may be the problem that you can't accept you're gay? Do you think it may be what your mom said or what society says?
Thank you. It is hard to understand why she's not willing to accept me. She isn't homophobic about other people, and she's always happy to talk with my brothers about their heterosexual escapades. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm her only daughter. YES! This really made a difference. Thank you. And I'm sorry that your parents aren't accepting either. It really hurts. I'm going out with a young woman right now and I can't tell my mom but I wish I could. I could always tell her when it was a boy. I think my mom's lack of understanding makes a huge difference in how I see myself. But society doesn't help either, because how it feels to be a lesbian isn't often talked about. It's taken for granted that girls always like guys, and that when they DO become intimate with other women, it's to get attention or to "experiment". I wish I could be taken seriously.
