I want to die, I'm not depressed I've just seen what life can offer, debt, death, sadness and misery all that outweighs the good moments, i just want to stop thinking, dreaming,believing anything will get any better,dying seems to clear most people's mind, I just want to be free, I want to live in a fairy tale fantasy where everything is perfect, I don't think my life is worth living anymore. I am a lost boy and will always be I just want to die
I totally understand but then again you don't know whether things will get better, and they probably will. You may not be clinically depressed (I hav enever been clinically depressed either) but you might be going through grief or stress. You said life brings death so Im assumign you have lost a loved one or more than one? It may be hard to imagine you hav enever felt any better when you're in this state, but it's probably the case that you did at one point feel more positive.
I genuinely does get better I promise, there may be bad times but it's worth the good times that come along as well.
Take some time to learn about buddhism. You can attend a 10 day meditation retreat for free (or whatever you can donate), complete with housing and instruction. Visit dhamma.org May as well give it a try mate Suffering is optional.
It may at first glance seem like this video is irrelevant to your specific situation but you should seriously watch it and hopefully it will help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o And I don't think you need to get into any sort of spiritual practice like Skitten suggested. I think it's extremely important to learn to think for yourself and learn what's best for you. Don't follow anyone else. I also think that saying that suffering is optional is dangerous. In the end it seems like that would just erase all of our empathy and we would become robotic. That's my opinion anyway. As for your question if life is worth living or not, as far as I know, there is no universal law that says so. It is up to you to decide, and since many many other people find worth in living, so can you. And I think once you become happy you automatically find it worthwhile or you might not even care if it is or not because all that matters is your happiness. I don't really think it matters in the end if life is worth it as long as you are feeling good as a whole.
I feel for you, I know what you are thinking, have thought the same. I try and tell myself to savor the good moments and not to let them go. IMO the scales have to tip to the good side of life heck even if I have to make it tip. Am also often stuck in that perfect fantasy, just think if there wasn't any bad how would you know that that fantasy is perfect? Anyway sending you the empathy and love to help tip those scales a bit.
Well, I'm bipolar, so those thoughts are very ordinary and not emotionally charged for me. When I'm up, I'd say, "life is very much worth living. Even without some grand scheme defining life's meaning written in stone, finding my values and living by them is satisfying." If I'm down, the answer might be "no, but do it anyways." And that's the nature of emotional ups and downs for me. When I'm down, just get past being down, and when I'm up, enjoy life. I hope you feel more positive soon!