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Coming Out

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by AW19273, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. AW19273

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mighigan
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Okay so I'm 19 finishing my first year of college and surprise surprise I'm a lesbian. It feels right, I mean I'm attracted to guys but relationships with them have always felt awkward to me and when I crushed on girls it always felt more intense and the physical side actually seems fun and exciting.All and all girls are just better. So yeah I'm tremendously Gay. The thing is I feel so alone in this. No one knows and I want to come out but I'm scared. I mean I don't know if my roommates would be okay with it. My friends back home are just that...back home and I worry that they won't accept me or that things could get uncomfortable. And I'm just plain terrified if my family finds out. Plus if I tell people it will be real, you know, like no going back after that you definitely gay now and idk that scares me too. I know that I can't keep this bottled up, I need someone. Also you can't really be in a relationship with someone if you're deep in the closet which in all honesty that's the point why I want to be with someone, a girl someone, completely and wholly as myself. If any of you have advise or some stories that would be nice.
     
  2. Lyana

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2014
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    Location:
    France
    Hi AW19273. I'm also 19, and my coming out process began only a few months ago, so maybe I can relate.

    I'd recommend to choose the first person you come out to based on this: it has to be someone you're confident will be supportive, and someone you want to tell. For me it was someone I'd only known for a few months, but she's gay and a good friend, so I knew it would be completely fine.

    How long have you known your roommates? I'm guessing just this college year. If you've lived with them for that length of time, you might have an idea of their opinions. Have you tried bringing up LGBT topics (like when they come up in the news, or when it's a Day of Visiblity or Day of Silence for example) with them, to see how they would react?
    If you get along well with them and are friends, hopefully they'll be fine with it -- mine was.

    About your friends back home. I assume you'll be seeing them again soon, once you're done with your first year. Keep in mind that coming out isn't a one time thing, it isn't just one step between "being closeted" and "being completely out." You don't have to tell them all. If you have a few friends you're particularly close to and you want them to know, then tell them. Don't tell them for any other reason than because you want to. And again, you probably know them better than we do and you probably know how they feel about LGBT topics, or you can find out, kind of testing the waters before coming out.

    You don't have to tell your family right now, either. If you tell friends from back home, just tell them you don't want it to become gossip or common knowledge and make it clear you're not out to your family. It's great to have your friends' support when you do come out to family. Why don't you want your family to find out?

    No. No. You absolutely can annd should go back if you realize you were wrong. But if you know for sure sure sure you're gay, then coming out will be scary, yes, but it will also be liberating. And don't be scared of being gay. You can be perfectly happy, you know.

    Anyway, good luck. ♥ Don't worry too much and keep us updated.