Hey EC community, I semi-recently kind of came out. I told my family that it was something I was unsure of as of yet. I didn't tell my sister, but my mom did after I came out to her first and she was looking for advice and didn't know whether she had said "the right things". I can't fault her for it and was in no way surprised by what she did. I would have done the same thing in her shoes. The reason for the post is that it's been 3 months since that conversation and while I'm feeling a bit more comfortable with myself it's still not something I'm really truly admitting to myself for the most part. I'm currently seeing a therapist for it. I wouldn't consider this something I lose sleep over, more of general thought. I have never thought of it as a negative thing, I'm kind of an eternal optimist. I know a couple gay people, and save for my Grandmother there isn't a single important person in my life that would have an serious objections, if I were to tell them I was gay, but I still can't bring myself to do it. I can hardly say it to myself or my therapist. I finally said the words and truly meant it to my therapist last week. I don't know what's holding me back. I haven't even talked to my sister about it yet, even though I know it's a conversation that she would like to have with me. I told a new friend that I met through my brother, he's gay, and yet it was still extremely difficult for me. I think I'm going to tell my best friend at some point in the near future. probably half of his friends are gay (though he is definitely not) so again, it will be no big deal. And I have a feeling that he has some kind of idea about it already anyways. I'm just trying to get comfortable with the identity I would be assuming. I would really like to be ok with it by the time my next semester of school rolls around (And that's what I told my therapist) I just don't know what to do to speed up this process. Should I talk to my brother's friend about it. Do you think he would be ok with it? would it make things awkward? My therapist mentioned going to clubs but that's not really my thing, and I think LGBT group meetings are kind of off the table as I would have to be a bit more comfortable with myself to go to one of them. Anyone have any suggestions for me. Has anyone been in the same situation as me before?
Coming out is emotionally draining. It takes a lot to bare your soul and let the world know such an important part of you is different. Plus you never know how someone will react and if it truly could be something they may ostracize you for or physically harm you. I will never fault someone for being in the closet, and it's still something I have difficulty with all the time, despite being out to a decent number of people.
Where being gay is such a social taboo, it can be hard to even say the words "I'm gay," to the mirror. I would say the best way to get comfortable with telling people that you're gay is to start looking in the mirror and just saying it, eventually it will not be as hard as it was. The first time I tried to say those words to myself I couldn't even do it. Just keep practicing in the mirror, it gets easier. I promise. oo
