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forcing me to be girly

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ilovesg, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. ilovesg

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    I have a friend who's gay. He wears dresses, wigs, makeup, and heels. My friends love him and think he's so sassy and fun and great. But when I say I don't feel comfortable wearing girl clothes all of a sudden it's a big deal. They think I should wear a dress to prom and just suck it up. I went dress shopping with them today and they were pushing me the whole time to try one on. I feel so uncomfortable in girly clothes and for some reason they're not ok with that even though they're beyond excited for my gay friend to wear a dress. It's like he's the fun gay bff and I'm just the weird lesbian one. When he came out to them my friends were immediately supportive but when I came out, my friends refused to talk about it for almost 2 years. Even my gay friend is trying to get me to wear a dress and I thought of all people he would understand. I don't know what to do or wear to prom and I don't even want to go. I think people think I'm super girly because I have long hair and wear makeup but that doesn't really mean anything. I don't know what to do because they want me to go shopping again tommorow. : /
     
  2. pecan470

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    Wear what you want, as long as you feel stunning, that's all that matters. It's your night too. I have a friend who wore a pantsuit to prom and she rocked it, best outfit of the night. Going with what you want will probably garner you more compliments (not sure if that matters to you; but I'm a bit of an attention-seeker, so I love them). Also, have you told any of your friends about your concerns -- with their attitudes, not the dress --?
     
  3. ilovesg

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    I'm really really not into attention lol I don't want to make a huge fashion statement by not wearing a dress and I rather kind of blend in. So that's kind of difficult. I would try to talk to them but they just started acknowledging me being gay and being ok talking about it and I rather not rock the boat. That makes my friends sound horrible but they are really trying. I don't know.
     
  4. Argentwing

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    I would have a serious talk with that gay friend of yours; the chance is highest that he will understand where you're coming from, and might agree with you eventually despite his opinion that you'll look nice in a dress.

    About social preferences though, wear the dress to blend in, or wear the other option to be yourself. I'm betting that down the road, you'll wish you did the latter if you don't.
     
  5. Ruby Dragon

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    I totally understand where you're coming from. I despise dresses and skirts and heels and all things overly girly. I dress for comfort, not to impress anyone. Sure, I have a few feminine tops but if I could, I'd wear a tshirt every day :grin: Just sometimes want to be a little bit more presentable, so I wear a more feminine top. But they're essentially also only glorified tshirts so whatever lol. I wore a dress to my matric farewell (prom) and felt so out of place. But it was expected of me so I obliged. Wish I could've worn pants though.

    I say go with what feels right for you. You already know you won't feel comfortable in a dress, so don't wear one just to shut people up. It's a special occasion and you shouldn't look back at it and have regrets. Even if you're the only woman there with a suit instead of a dress, you shouldn't feel like an outcast. It's about what YOU want, not about what OTHERS want or say. Be unique. Maybe you'd open a door to other girls also looking to opt for a suit instead of dress. I also understand wanting to blend in. I'm an introvert and HATE being in the spotlight/centre of attention. I still say go with what makes YOU comfortable, and go with what YOU want. Fuck the haters and naysayers
     
  6. Malkai

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    Ok so I'm not from USA and we don't have prom here so I can't really use my own experiences to help you. But I can relate to you in other areas.

    I don't like to wear girly things and I stay away from dresses and skirts as much as possible. I'd rather wear sports clothes and t-shirts with shorts or jeans everyday. That being said, I understand you being conflicted about this. When I go to weddings (read "dragged to weddings by my parents") I'm always forced to wear a dress. Until recently that also went for baptisms and all sorts of "formal" parties.

    If you're trying to blend in as much as possible then a simple dress would be the no-brainer choice. But ultimately, what do you want to remember about your prom night? Being comfortable and having fun with your friends or being stuck in a dress and feeling uncomfortable all night while everyone is wearing what they wanted? You're the one that you have to be thinking about here. Not your friends or everyone else. Try talking to them seriously and explain how you feel.