I'm quite a thick-skinned, grounded person, so this is a big problem for me. Lately, if I read something that involves victim-blaming, racism, homophobia or even things that aren't even supposed to be offensive sets me off. Not to the point where I start causing damage to things around me, but I spend the rest of the day being angry and bitter and it's not healthy for me. Even the slightest things create this hot, uncomfortable feeling in the bottom of my stomach. I know there will always be ignorant people, and if I didn't, I wouldn't be on the Internet. How can I let go of things more quickly so I can keep calm when having certain discussions with people?
I do the same thing. If someone says something homophobic I take it personally even if it wasn't aimed at me. I think when you're gay you're constantly worrying about if someone is going to say something so you over think everything. Even if someone just misspoke and didn't really mean it, it still feels like an attack. Try not to take it so personally and correct people when they're talking. It happens to me all the time because I don't "look gay." If I say I'm gay they usually don't say anything bad anymore.
You could try to get a bit more relaxed in general... having a walk, maybe meditation/relaxation exercises, not too hyped lifestyle with lots of appointments... leaving time for yourself... You could take a few deep breaths if you read something... and if you talk or write you could try not to get upset but remain calm and concentrate on facts, not responding too emotional or with anger... not fueling it, just remaining calm... and you can block people if you dislike their comments. and you might simply try to avoid it... there are certain places on the web which simply are full of emotions, for that reason I rarely read youtube comments for example. Its sometimes kind of difficult because there might be nice persons, or a good story, you open up, and then something unexpected happens. Knowing and remaining calm might help. hugs
Another problem I have is this incessant need to prove people wrong. Someone was pulling some half assed statistics out their ass about how black people perpetrate most of the crime in America and....It was ridiculous how hard it was to ignore him.
Well I'd say don't take it personal. Just keeping to the facts, saying it does not adhere to the facts, and state a few true ones. Otherwise its just an exchange of emotions, not about the subject.
You have to have maintain a balance in your life. I have a tendency to be very detached and apathetic to negativity that is directed at me; however, finding ourselves constantly in an environment in which we are defending/arguing against ignorance will overwhelm anyone after a certain point. Even when it comes down to counseling those in need, there are plenty of times in which therapists have to step back and remove themselves from being a position that can be very mentally taxing. When you find yourself getting overwhelmed from the comments that you have read or the constant debating that you find yourself in, step back. Log off of the social media. Read a novel. Play video games. Start a new television series. Go exercise. Venture to the more lighthearted regions of the internet. Take however long of a break that is needed. Even when you decide to open up a new discussion, or update yourself on recent new stories having to deal with LGBTQ, racial minorities, inequality, etc, refrain from beginning your day by immersing yourself in these topics. Hate and prejudice, in their many forms, are certainly not going to be leaving this world anytime soon. While fostering awareness is definitely something that we want to strive for, we all have to make sure that we aren't surrounding ourselves in constant negativity in order to do so. On the subject of feeling the need to prove others wrong, it comes down to the mindset. It is easy for our frustrations with certain issues in society to turn into resentment. When that becomes the case, we tend to focus more on proving others wrong rather than educating others. Winning an argument rather than reaching a point in which there is a mutual understanding. You have to get into the mindset where you automatically acknowledge two types of people in the world: the negative and the ignorant. Ignorant, not in the stubborn sense, but in the sense of being unfamiliar and unaware with a certain subject or issue. Negative people are not worth your time. If you are going to discuss and debate these issues with people, debate with people who you believe are open to other views. There is no use getting into a debate or allowing yourself to be emotionally affected by the words of someone who simply seeks to hate. Someone who views themselves as intellectually superior. Someone who is simply wishing to prove themselves right or defend their archaic beliefs rather than carry out some actual critical thought. Never forget that it is not your job to educate everyone. It is not your job to fight every battle. Keeping a stable mind on this subject is about learning to value yourself and your time above all.
a lot of it is just being 15, and that will change next year. though I can't promise that next year's advice wouldn't be that it is just part of being 16. fundamentally, I'm like you in this respect. I think that with time we just get better about letting go of it, and picking our battles. but for now, it is part of defining yourself, and as long as you aren't lashing out at people it's not terribly bad. it does affect the quality of your life though, so you may want to try avoiding people places and things that set you off, to the extent that that is possible.
