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Question for those who always knew they were gay/trans

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lindsey23, Apr 24, 2015.

  1. Lindsey23

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    I've heard some people say they knew they were gay when they were 5 or 6. I'm wondering what impact that would have on someone. Would always knowing make it easier or more difficult? I started to realize when I was in middle school and thought that was hard. I imagine it would be more difficult to know in early childhood...but I really don't know.

    I'm asking because I have a son who I think is gay (maybe trans?) and I think he is aware of it. I'm not sure how to support him. For some background I'm in a straight marriage and am still coming to terms with my own sexuality. Any comments or advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. Im Hazel

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    I didn't know from a young age, but I was aware that something was off with my gender. I also knew that I liked boys. It would have helped me so much if we had been told that homosexuallity actually existed, let alone that it was normal. The same goes for transexuality. Just tell your child about LGBT issues and facts. Make sure he knows what "gay" and "straight" mean, as well as "trans", "cis" and "non-binary". I don't know how supportive your partner would be of this, but really these are things that should be taught to all children alongside "how are babies made?"
     
  3. Theron

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    I sort of knew from a very young age but I ignored it and pushed things aside because my family is very homophobic. I had hints of it when I knew I liked a boy in grade school more than I liked girls because I found the teasing I received to be very strange because I didn't like the girl I was playing with. I liked her brother. =/ I mean....I liked her but platonically. I figured out what it was and was pretty certain I was at about 12. Got sent to conversion therapy and then conversion camp. I experimented at 16 and that blew up in my face so I started doubting myself again, had a very bad relationship with a guy, gave up on life and stuff in general, tried really hard to be straight and dated several women (including one I am still friends with and still deeply love in a romantic way, I just...yeah, can't have sex with women, nope). I maintained doubts even through the deaths of my parents and even after I was the victim of a violent hate crime that nearly took my life, I still doubted myself. It wasn't until I met my husband that I really was comfortable with being certain that I'm gay.

    But even then I still have moments where I doubt myself, even if I can no longer imagine life without him.

    So sometimes you do know young, it's just that there's a lot of outside factors that can make you ignore or doubt it.

    How old is your son? Depending on his age, it might be too young to really concern yourself if he's not showing major outward signs. If he's pre-teen/teen, just keep reminding him you love him no matter what. For me, it would have meant everything to have someone tell me that.
     
  4. Lindsey23

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    Thank you for the replies. My son is 9. I know he's young but there are signs. I don't want to get into it too much but I've noticed him notice boys. I've talked to my husband about it and he is unsure of it but he is supportive. I just worry about him because I see him struggle so much in school and I wonder if this is a factor. I don't know. Theron, I was also about 12 when I realized I wasn't straight. It's a lot to handle. I was never sent to conversion therapy though, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully it will be banned completely in the coming years. It sounds like you are doing well now, congratulations on your marriage! Stories like yours give me hope for the future. Im Hazel, I have mentioned on a few occasions what it means to be gay and that some boys date boys and some girls date girls and that it's ok. I've tried to be casual about it...I don't know...it doesn't come up often and I don't know what he's thinking.
     
  5. Theron

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    Well in that case, continue to make your home a safe space for him. If there's a story that comes up on the news or a character on a television show that has to do with the LGBT+ community, make positive comments. Continue to reinforce that you love him no matter what. If he mentions something related, reinforce that it's okay to be gay/trans.
     
  6. blueberrykisses

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    I had a major crush on a girl when I was 8 and I wanted to become a boy when I grew up so that I could date a girl. I didn't know it was possible for to girls to have a relationship so I assumed I will have to become a boy. Now, if I had known that homosexuality existed, I would have known I was gay but I didn't. I mean, I knew I liked girls but I didn't know what that meant. I still assumed I would one day have a BOYfriend.
     
  7. Lindsey23

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    Maybe that's it. Because on two occasions he expressed interest in being a girl but he isn't "girly." He plays like a boy...I don't know, I guess time will tell. I hadn't considered that before now. Come to think of it, when I was in high school there were times I wished I was a guy because I liked their clothes more and I hated dresses. I also hated getting my period and thought boys had it soooo much easier. I was never confused about my gender, it was all superficial. So maybe he just doesn't know how to express what he wants. I never thought of it that way before. Thank you.
     
  8. flyawayfree

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    I've pretty much always known I liked girls, I just didn't always know there was a word for it. I remember having crushes on other girls when I was 6. I never thought I was weird or different, it was just the norm for me. I was in middle school when I realized there were words for people who liked the same gender. It didn't change my perception of myself. Though, after growing up in such a liberal home, I was shocked when I first realized some people don't 'accept' gays and lesbians.