Hi there, I was hoping for some advice about my ex-boyfriend. I'm 23 and he's 22, we're both not out and we were seeing each other in a distance relationship for 6 months. We saw each other once every couple of weeks or so, but about 3 months ago, he broke things off because he said we'd lost the spark in our relationship. I kind of knew this was true, but I only really realised how strongly I felt about him once we had broken up. After the break up, I didn't speak to him for about 2 months as I wanted to give myself space to get over things, which I think I probably did. He'd always said he wanted to stay as friends so once I felt okay about things, we started texting again. I regularly travel to where he lives for work reasons, so I met up with him a couple of times for a coffee. Last week however, I needed a place to stay for a couple of nights whilst I was in town so I stayed over at his place. When we were together, he would usually cuddle me and sometimes he'd rub his manhood against my ass which would usually lead to us getting a little frisky. Anyway, when I stayed over this time - halfway through the night, he came over to me and started cuddling me, and like when we were together, I could feel his erection and he was rubbing it and pushing it up against my ass. Part of me wanted to act on his advance but I chose not to, so I just let him cuddle me instead. The next day, nothing was mentioned, but the problem is, the two days we spent together, we've been getting on really well again, its like having a really close mate and the advice I'm looking for on here is should I bring what happened up, should I ask him about it? If I'm honest, I still find him attractive and I wouldn't mind having some fun with him every once in a while, the sex was always pretty good in our relationship. But I'm worried that if I bring it up it could potentially damage how well we've been getting on. With him finishing things between us though, I'm just a little surprised by him making a move on me and don't know if I should act on it. Any help you could offer would be much appreciated. =)
It sounds like you might be looking for a friend-with-benefits type situation. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, provided you both know the ground rules are can both fully accept either of you leaving that scenario should one of you start dating someone else. I did this for probably a year before I met my current bf. When neither of us were in a relationship, my friend and I would occasionally get together. Now we just hang out as friends and everything is completely cool. You really do need to be careful though that jealousy and unfettered feelings don't come to the surface when one of you enters a relationship. I suppose the other alternative might be to cut him off cold-turkey again. It's up to you and what you want. I would try to avoid feelings of wanting a relationship with him again, unless you both really start to feel a spark resurfacing, because you (or he) may only get hurt again.
