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Should I tell my French exchange family I'm gay?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Figure8, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. Figure8

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    Hey so I'm going to France this summer, it's an amazing opportunity given to me by my high school. I'll be staying with a family with a student my age. She will probably ask me if I have a boyfriend, and I don't know whether to tell her I'm a lesbian or not. I know hat France is an extremely gay friendly country, and I'll be staying in Gap, which is a small town in the south. I don't know if they're liberal or conservative. I really hope my exchange family is accepting and liberal, but I don't know if I should tell them about my sexuality or if I should just keep it hidden. It's only for a month after all, I could pass as straight if I had to for a month haha.
    Any advice? Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. Andrew99

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  3. ilovesg

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    I say tell them if they ask and just say it as casually as possible. I don't think it will cause any problems :slight_smile:
     
  4. Lyana

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    I'm French, so I went through the whole high school in France thing, and it's like everywhere else: there are people who won't care, and people who will. I think in your exchange family you will be safe. If the student asks if you have a boyfriend, sure, why not go ahead and be honest? If she seems nice and you think you'd like to tell her. She'll know whether her parents/family will care or not.

    I think Gap is mostly center-right in terms of politics, but that doesn't really say much. Going to the South of France for the summer is really cool.
     
  5. Foz

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    I'd get to know them a bit first, if the conversation moves towards relationships etc. I'd perhaps mention it, otherwise leave it.
     
  6. bingostring

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    it depends how confident you are and how open you are prepared to be

    Gap is a small place and may not be as open minded as a bigger French city

    You could play it two ways…

    Tell, if asked

    or

    as you are still young you could just keep it private. You are only there a few weeks/months. Not actually any of their business. Although this perpetuates the closet mentality..

    as I say … it depends how confident you are and how open you are prepared to be

    good luck - it sounds a great way to spend the summer !! :icon_bigg
     
  7. CalgaryMac

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    I am wondering how coming out to the exchange family fits for why you are going? I don't think that you should feel compelled to be an open book to these folks until you are confident that the experience will be a positive one.

    I think that we often feel like we need to share information when we are asked but we are entitled to our privacy as well.
     
  8. unless you plan on bring a young lady to their house to date and food around, i would say just keep it to yourself. you can merely say you're not dating anyone and single. it's one thing to come out to people when you have your own housing/living situation secure. however, you are staying with them and you do not know how they feel about gays. they could be very tolerant or very intolerant. if intolerant, why set yourself up for additional issues in what should be a great experience. if tolerant, you may find out whilst talking with them and if you want to come out to them you can. don't put extra stress on yourself than you need at this time.
     
  9. sweetfemme90

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    To be safe I would try to find out their attitudes towards gay people before telling them one is in their home. The way I would accomplish this is by referring to something in the news about LGBT people (E.g. latest place legalizing same-sex marriage, or how funny Ellen DeGeneres is). If they receive this well then you know it is safe to say it :slight_smile:
     
  10. greatwhale

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    Yes, France is gay-friendly, now, but you need to remember that there was a surprisingly strong backlash against the legalization of same-sex marriage back in 2013, and the former president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy, is threatening to repeal this law should he ever return to power.

    I stayed overnight with a French family in Strasbourg in the early eighties, the father and husband was a blatant anti-Semite, and I am Jewish. I kept quiet, it was only for a night, but it was enlightening. I would strongly suggest that you probe their attitude about the passage of this law in may, 2013 as a way to find out what they feel about it. Google it and find out what happened, who the players were and what kind of opposition was expressed. Show an interest in what they think about it. Who knows, they might even figure out for themselves, by your questions, who you are.