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help! am i transgender?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by squirrelmax, Apr 27, 2015.

  1. squirrelmax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    OAKVILLE
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    struggling/confused about being trans...
    Hi everyone,

    I'm struggling with trying to figure out if I am transgender or not. I think I am in some denial and would love some help and feedback as all of this internet research/transgender umbrella/googling has exhausted me. So here's what you need to know: I'm in my late 20s, assigned female at birth, tomboy growing up, was always the dad playing house or Ken playing Barbie, never wore dresses, hated anything girly growing up and I've identified as a lesbian the past 5 years, however something is still missing. I asked my parents at a young age if I was supposed to have a penis or if I was born in the wrong body. To which they obviously said no. Some days I don't mind being female but I'm not sure if it's because I have to be...I mean ill do my nails every so often, wear makeup occasionally but it's never because it feels awesome and cute but because it feels like its what I'm supposed to do. Also I don't completely hate my boobs and my clothes are always gender neutral. Other days I want to sit at home in boxers with my packer and not care about any of this. I bought my first packer in January and have barely taken it off. It feels so right. I feel so empowered and so good wearing it...the first time I cried because it felt so right. However I say this yet I'm not sure if I could live as a man full time. The hormones, top surgery, it seems to much for me right now or even ever. I need help because this is killing me everyday to not know what's going on. I've told a few friends, no family. I dont have any support in this area of my life and its taking a heavy emotional toll any help would be super appreciated
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    You might hae a look here for a few thoughts that might help you :
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/comin...mom-doesnt-know-im-actually-her-daughter.html

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...9807-figuring-out-my-gender-identity-s.html#4

    The link for androgynous people might not be for you.

    In summary, being trans is a spectrum. There is no only one right way, and its up to you where you feel comfortable.
    I'd say go with a feeling of joy.
    And you do not have to have surgeries, etc. Its all up to you.


    Its a step by step process, so I'd say take the time you need, but keep at it.
    Just take the next step, and see where it takes you.

    Questions to ask could be:
    would you like a bit more male body to be a bit more happy?
    And you don't have to identify as man all of the time.

    How would you like to be perceived ?

    You might start with easy reversible steps, like changes to hair and clothing style.

    If you want to talk to someone in person, you might call
    talkline - GLBT National Help Center


    hugs
     
    #2 jay777, Apr 28, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2015