Making a mistake, feeling extremely upset about it

You aren't the only one. When someone gets mad at me I assume they will never talk to me again and or if I let them see me get upset they may change their mind that they like me.

I think it could have to do with your experience with your parents, however best thing that would help is to see a counselor.

I can relate I grew up with a step father who would give me the silent treatment everytime he was upset with me etc. Now when there is conflict with someone its strange when someone wants to talk it out because I am used to someone just shutting me out. However, I have to admit that I have learned the nasty habit of the silent treatment which I am working on changing. I also learned behaviors such as avoiding people I like and or have a conflict with. Counselor says this has to do alot with what I saw as a child....I avoid as a defense mechanism.

Counseling has helped me most with this.

 

I've dealt with this for my whole life. I've done some therapy that has helped. And I try to limit other stressors or at least be aware of them when they are present and something like this comes up. I try when possible to let them know that if like to think over what they said and maybe respond the next day, but that can be hard in some situations with authority figures.

If I were to sum up a few things that have helped me start to get better about it they'd be 1) knowing that that's what's happening 2) not feeling so guilty/shamed/bad about it.

Op, are you still living with your parents?

 

It is very reasonable to assume that, and it would be something to talk to your therapist about. From the root, verbal conflict is creating a flight or fight response in you, your reaction is to take your flight inwards. You will need to learn better coping mechanisms for dealing with this in a healthy way. (&&& advice from my therapist to me.) :smilewave

I've always been the same way, I'm getting better at dealing with conflict and anxiety. Therapy definitely is helping with that.

 

Yes, your parents authoritative approach toward your upbringing could definitely have influenced your overal reaction to aggressive behavior from others. Your submissiveness is also a likely stimulant for bullying as they lean that you will just "take it" without defending yourself.

Definitely bring this up with your therapist, it is a serious problem and there are some very useful techniques to manage it.